Anna Brady

19 years ago today Anna Brady died. I know that I'm known for being a "silver liner" or someone who finds the good in almost every situation. But I can't find it here. There is no "silver lining" when a child dies. There is only heartbreak and sadness that permanently changes us. 19 years later I can still cry as quickly as I did when she first died. I'm still in disbelief that it happened.

These were good kids doing good things. They went to McDonalds to plan the Spring Fling dance for their high school class. They weren't drinking, they weren't doing anything wrong. There is no lesson to learn to learn from this. There are only broken hearts.

If I've given myself any comfort at all it is knowing that somehow Anna was too good for this world and that God wanted her sooner. She was already an angel on earth and a ray of sunshine to everyone she met. I felt connected to her the same way I felt connected to Lisa Groshart. That we were all the same kind of "sunny souls," As we proudly watched Anna, Lisa and I both felt that Anna was following in our footsteps in high school in so many ways. And in this small world and small town, Anna also happened to be Lisa's teacher' aide.

For those of you that knew her I know you're crying. Because you can't really talk about Anna for any length of time and not start crying. For those of you who didn't know her she was the person that everyone felt was their friend. She made everyone happy just by being her.

After she died her ashes were put on Grass Mountain. Grass Mountain is named for its face of grass. But something special happened that year and you can all attribute it to a phenomenon of nature but I chose to believe it is something else. It rained a lot. Very heavy rain. And in the Spring Grass Mountain was covered in wild flowers like we've never seen before of since. I know Anna's parents have a painting of Grass Mountain in their home.

Doug Groshart wrote the song to Anna that begins "The Sun is coming up over Grass Mountain and I'm just thinking what this life here is all about..."

Before Anna died she wrote a poem called the sun. And I don't think a day goes by that I don't look at that sun and think of her. After she first died I had nightmares for two years. It was as if I was in the car and was in the accident. I would be jolted awake and sick. But then I would go on a run and look up at the sky and see the sun shining down on me. And it didn't matter where I was: Hawaii, Alabama, Indiana, California...that sun followed me wherever I went. So Anna was always with me.

THE SUN

My home is high in the sky,

Where I can see everyone and what they are doing.

I have to turn around sometimes

When I see people fighting.

It is very peaceful where I live,

I'm as happy as can be.

There are lots of clouds around me

And they usually talk to me.

Happy, bright and cheerful,

Three adjectives I love to hear.

Happy 'cause I laugh and smile,

Bright 'cause I always glow

And cheerful 'cause I'm happy.

Although I look after people.

In my little throne,

I never pick just one of them,

I love to look after many more.

I am very happy where I am.

I hope things never change.

I'm happier than ever,

And my smile never fades.

--Anna Brady