tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81807341382182066852024-02-18T22:57:37.632-08:00Maili WritingMaili Halmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08663399528463286005noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8180734138218206685.post-50790138037499636442012-05-13T09:55:00.000-07:002012-05-13T09:57:20.394-07:00The Emotion of Mother's DayHolidays are a challenge for anyone who has gone through any kind of grief. Someone can wish someone something as benign and simple as "Happy Mother's Day" or "Happy New Year" or "Happy National Zucchini Bread Day" and depending on the associations the recipient has with that particular holiday it can make a wound surface or a wave of sadness come through.<br />
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I was looking at the kind and genuine Mother's Day wishes that friends were sharing on Facebook, but I was also noticing how many people were posting pictures of their mom's who had passed away. How this day for them brings pain with it: pain from all the memories of love. Someone explained to me that the physical pressure you have in your heart from losing someone you love is that person now living inside your heart. That you can now feel them inside of you.<br />
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But that pain of missing someone who was there for you is easier to feel than the pain from someone who wasn't there. The child who wonders why their mother was so impatient or angry or wasn't giving them the love and support they felt they needed. Again, I've touched on this theme many times before: motherhood is the most demanding of jobs. It is a full-time position of constant needs. It takes the strength of Hercules as well as tremendous patience and wisdom. Wisdom we don't always have until later. There is no guide book. We all learn as we go trying to do our very best. I always thought because of my natural passion for homemaking that I would be the ultimate mother. It was something I always wanted to do. I hadn't counted on the sleepless nights or the ache and worry when your child is sick. I constantly have to remind myself to be PRESENT with my girls. To truly listen to them instead of get caught up in my hobbies and interests. To look them in the eyes and really listen to them. And then the joy comes from delighting in their interests and their happiness instead of just kind of nodding through as you try to clean up the house or check things off the "to do" list. A friend said you never really understand how hard motherhood was for your mother or truly appreciate your mother until you become a mother yourself and then finally understand the full scope of the job.<br />
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I remember the day Melissa Madeline was born. I remember when we took her home from the hospital and I remember looking at Jason with more love that you can ever possibly feel for someone because he had given me this child I loved beyond any emotion I had ever felt in my life. It was the deepest form of love I could ever have for both him and for her. I felt my world would end if anything ever happened to that precious child. I worried about her each breath and checked on her all night. When Katherine was born again I felt the same immense love. But now I had two babies and looked at Jason begging for help. How could I care for both of them. The love was so immense I felt like I would burst. And then the hard times came and those are the things that chip away at the marriage. The demands of the outside world that make things so hard on all of us. How could we start with such a perfect love of this child and then get divorced. How was that love for our children not strong enough to hold us together?<br />
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On this day I I also think of my friends (sadly too many to count) who have struggled for years with infertility. I especially think of one friend who finally got pregnant after years and years of trying then had to suffer the baby dying. The worst pain of all is to lose a child. And on Mother's Day I think of those dear friends who have suffered this worst of losses and pains.<br />
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For me I have a huge mixture of emotions on Mother's Day. As long as my grandmother is alive (she will be 91 this June) the day is basically about her. It isn't about my mom or the young mom's. It is about all of us going to visit Granny. For some reason Mother's Day has always been a lot of work in our family. Yet another party for my mom, my sister, my sister-in-law and my aunt to rally around and cook for. If you remember my <a href="http://themailifiles.blogspot.com/2009/07/toast-to-my-sister-on-her-40th-birthday.html">toast </a> from my sister's 40th about "being raised to believe that it was our "job" to be there. To be the hosts and caregivers and comforters and celebrators. To let others know they matter." So Mother's Day is not an exemption from that job. However, about 7 or 8 years ago my sister came up with a BRILLIANT plan. She decided that since Mother's Day is a day of work for us that we should celebrate Mother's Day the Wednesday AFTER Mother's Day by going to the Ojai Spa. We could each truly relax and be pampered and not work or care for anyone but ourselves for those few hours we could be at the spa. So I highly recommend to any of you to lower your expectations for the actual day of Mother's Day and do something for yourself in the week afterward: a massage, a pedicure, a movie, alone time with a book...whatever fills you up and nourishes you so you can restore your strength to be there for others.<br />
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So as I think of this day and all that it means. I celebrate the women who never had children but who have been the best aunts and friends and support systems for others. Those women have often had an enormous impact on the world. On this day I celebrate the friendship we all have for each other as we help each other along this bumpy twisting road of life. I think with gratitude of all the lessons I've learned. The lessons I learned from being a mother. The lessons I learned from being a daughter. The lessons I've learned from the friends I've had and all of their experiences.<br />
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And just as I'm writing these last words Melissa Madeline is waking up. She looked from under the covers and said "Happy Mother's Day." Last week Melissa Madeline made fun of me jokingly and truthfully saying "this is the house of JOY." And now in this morning she reminds me with her sweet smile that no matter the pains and sufferings in life: JOY exists.<br />
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photography <a href="http://www.josevillaphoto.com/">Jose Villa </a></div>
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<br />Maili Halmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08663399528463286005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8180734138218206685.post-71704491950298166402012-04-21T19:26:00.001-07:002012-04-21T19:36:01.470-07:00Coach Chris<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">Dear Recipe Testers,</span><br />
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Before I write this story I wanted to share with you something my friend Eric Pederson sent to me. Eric is a person like me with a huge heart who wants to help the world. When I went through the divorce I realized suddenly I just didn't have the personal energy or capacity to help on the level I had previously. All of my efforts and energy had to go into keeping myself strong so I could support my girls. I leaned on some dear friends who helped me through day by day and was also comforted by the kindness of strangers. In fact, I was crying in Trader Joe's a few days after we were separated and a man in the store bought me flowers. It was so kind and it gave me comfort. Recently I feel like I've been given the opportunity to "pay it forward" and help others who are going through the excruciatingly painful process of divorce. I feel like I've been able to give them hope that they will get through it and that happiness exists on the other side. And that the children will be okay. And that they will be okay. That life is somehow a series of ups and downs and that happiness is there is you look for it.</div>
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So I want to write about BALANCE. About when to give and when to say no. Because I think those are hard boundaries to make for those of us who feel they are called to help everyone. This short passage below that Eric wrote on "Compassion Fatigue" spoke volumes to me:</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #085691;">"You are a good person. It's a long race. You are suffering from compassion fatigue.<br /><br />Of course you care about people, but has there been a time in history when people have been put under more pressure to be charitable? You go to the store to pick up a quart of milk and pass a homeless man with a sign asking for your help, then you have to pass</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #085691;"> by someone selling brownies for some charity outside the grocery store, and when you pay for your milk you are asked if you want to make a donation to MS. It's a veritable attack of the charities.<br /><br />Not giving today does not mean you want the homeless man to starve, the Girl Scouts to miss their jamboree, or people to suffer from MS. It just means it is someone else's turn to give today.<br /><br />You have compassion fatigue because you have been compassionate. Compassion is not measured by how much you gave, or whether you were able to, or whether you fixed their problem, but that you wanted to. That compassion, even devoid of action, is precious and must be preserved. It makes us great.<br /><br />So recover. Treat yourself to a margarita, a spa day, a drive by the ocean, a ride in the mountains, a day with family, or maybe some time in your church. Recharge because you are an important part of this world, and because you deserve it.<br /><br />What we must not do, however, is defend ourselves with fiction that the problems are not real, that people are not suffering, or that they somehow deserve it. Suffering happens, it is not good, and we should not feel OK seeing it.<br /><br />Being human means we have compassion; but being human also means we have limits. So when you feel the fatigue, let yourself off the hook. I am here to tell you it is OK, and there is no need to rationalize not giving. Tell yourself not today, I am taking the day (or week) off. It's margarita Saturday, etc.<br /><br />And when you are recharged, watch out world, your love for your fellow man can make a difference that would shame the rest of us. You are, after all, kind of amazing." --</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #085691;"><a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=530443723" href="https://www.facebook.com/eric.pederson" style="cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">Eric Pederson</a></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=530443723" href="https://www.facebook.com/eric.pederson" style="cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #085691; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; line-height: normal;">Recently, I've had to be very careful about what I can do and what I can't do. I'm honestly asked weekly to donate to something or participate in a fundraiser. If the girls teachers need something for school that is always a yes. I've mentioned before that the two charities I donate to regularly are Food for the Poor and the local Food Banks, since I always think feeding people is of primary importance. But there are many things I've had to say no to just because I literally don't have the time or ability to say yes. </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #085691; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; line-height: normal;">Recently a tragedy happened in our valley that had the same need an urgency as Jeanette. It is something I had to say yes to. (For those of you who are new to this list, Jeanette was a little girl who died of bone cancer and had her leg amputated and multiple surgeries, yet was this amazing ray of positive light. No matter what horrors she endured she always made everyone around her feel wonderful. There was a time when Jeanette was in City of Hope and her aunt Rosemary was with her and Rosemary couldn't work and needed money for tires and gas and food. The necessities in life to get through the time of crisis. Strangers rose to help her and all of you helped them through that terrible time until she could go back to work and get back on her feet. It was the kind of "boost" that we all sometimes need in life.)</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #085691; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; line-height: normal;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #085691; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; line-height: normal;">The new urgency is for the Basketball Coach in the valley that donated so much of his time to so many kids in the valley. His whole family and wives' family has been a part of countless fundraisers and so many events in the valley, especially soccer and basketball, that if anyone has "paid it forward" Chris has. Chris Kaping is a plumber and his wife Monique has run a daycare in their home. Chris has bone cancer and on Monday had part of his pelvis and his femur removed. He is still at City of Hope. Because he is self-employed the family's biggest need right now is paying the rent and for the essentials in life like groceries, electricity, etc. They have four children. Friends and grandparents are jumping in to help drive the kids to school and activities (his daughter Dakota is still playing on the basketball team.) The WONDERFUL news is that the doctors believe Chris will walk again. The road to recovery will be long (at least a year) but there is tremendous hope and, as Hollye would say, that is a HUGE Silver Lining!</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #085691; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; line-height: normal;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #085691; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; line-height: normal;">So after finally learning to say no I realized that this is exactly what Eric meant about recharging your batteries so you would be available when it is most needed. This is exactly where I want to give my money and help. Chris and Monique and their four kids children need the money now to get through this temporary low. Their rent is $2,200 a month and that is on of the things Monique is the most concerned about. Then of course, groceries and utilities. I know the community will step up to help but I also believe there is something extraordinary about the kindness of strangers that gives you a lift beyond measure. That someone who you never gave to and whom you may never be able to repay, is giving to you. This is the kind of giving that fills me with JOY. </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #085691; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; line-height: normal;">If you have compassion fatigue than take time to recharge your batteries, but if you are recharged and ready to give this is where any amount will make a huge difference and be appreciated beyond measure. </span></span></span></div>
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Donations can be made Rabobank in Santa Ynez is also putting deposits directly into the account set up for Chris. You can write ATTN: Bertha Foxen who is handling the account but either way it will get to Chris.</div>
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<b>Rabobank</b></div>
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<b>Chris Kaping Medical Fund</b></div>
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<b>P. O. Box 718</b></div>
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<b>Santa Ynez, CA 93460</b></div>
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I love the ripple effect from the chain of love. It goes on and on. </div>
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Blessings and JOY,</div>
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Maili<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #085691; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small; line-height: normal;"><br /></span></span></span></div>Maili Halmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08663399528463286005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8180734138218206685.post-52241662668194023432011-12-18T11:07:00.001-08:002011-12-23T23:24:44.565-08:00Diving Through Pain<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">"One of the images I keep in my head when faced with challenges or pain in life is of a giant wave coming towards me. I could run from it and be pummeled and by the wave. Instead I face it and dive through it. And on the other side it is calm and peaceful. Then another one comes and I dive through it again. I learn to dive through many waves of pain. Then another one comes and I learn to ride it." -Maili</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://www.davidpuu.com/blog/">photography David Pu'u</a></span></i></span>Maili Halmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08663399528463286005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8180734138218206685.post-52881898040767745292011-12-03T11:03:00.001-08:002011-12-03T11:07:58.821-08:00J O Y<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">Dear Recipe Testers,</span><br />
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I have redesigned the blog in hopes that past recipes will be easier to find. Please let me know what you think:</div>
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Also, as many of you may know I am sadly going through a divorce after 20 years of marriage. It has been a tremendous time of growth and learning. I think divorce is horrible for children and believe deeply that every effort should be made to prevent it. If that effort has been made then I believe it is best for the children to go through the divorce with grace and peace. It is the greatest challenge not to let bitterness or anger or any of those negative feelings enter into what I describe as a "Natural Disaster." Since a divorce feels much like an earthquake or a house burning down. The "world as you knew it" has now radically changed. But beauty, grace and blessings do abound if you look for them. After Christmas I will write more about the HOW of going through a divorce with Grace and Peace. It involves a lot of prayer and journaling and compassion. A willingness to rise above and do the best that you can. And while this is best for the children it is also best for you.</div>
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I realized when redesigning the blog that there are many articles about my former husband as well as pictures of our family. I have decided to leave those as they were when I wrote them because they were true at the time. I don't want current circumstances to alter them since they were written with sincere feelings. As I explained to my children, I will keep all the happy memories from the time with their dad but for now it is best decision that we go forward with the divorce. </div>
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I know a lot of you are going through really trying times in your life right now. I want to share this passage that was sent to me. I also want to emphasize the incredible importance of gratitude prayers. There were often times that I prayed for peace in my heart or comfort but I have found the most powerful prayers of all are "gratitude prayers." I was just talking on Monday with Kara. For those of you who have followed the email list for a while, you will remember that Kara's daughter, Joele, died of a rare form of Nieman-Pick AB at age four, just after Jeanette died of cancer. Kara was explaining to me the importance of gratitude prayers and how truly important they are in your worst moments, when you are the least grateful. I will tell you that during one very hard time I said many prayers of gratitude, praise and thanksgiving at 4:00 in the morning. I can't being to tell you the difference it made in my life the following day and that i actually let me sleep. </div>
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Then interestingly enough that following day, Robert Jones, emailed me and said he needed to return the book HERE IF YOU NEED ME by Kate Braestrup. I had forgotten all about it. I bought the book at the bookstore the moment Jeanette died. Just after I found it, I got the text that Jeanette had died. The book is very comforting and it's basically about us all being there for each other. The authors husband died in a car accident when they still had three young children. The book describes that God is present when we are there for each other during their difficult times and that through these efforts small and large miracles occur. The timing of him returning the book was like getting a big hug and another wonderful reminder about gratitude. It in fact seemed like yet another one of those Divine coincidences or small miracles.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #085691;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande';">"But then, a grateful heart beats in a world of miracles. If I could only speak one prayer for you, my children, it would be that your hearts would not only beat but grow even greater in gratitude, that your lives, however long they prove to be and no matter how they end, continue to bring you miracles in abundance."<br />-Kate Braestrup</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #085691;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande';"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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I was also sent the below that I found very encouraging. I've read it over and over again.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #072191;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;">LEAN INTO IT:</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="yiv326929119Apple-style-span"><span class="yiv326929119Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #072191;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;">In life, we think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem. Th</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="yiv326929119text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="yiv326929119Apple-style-span"><span class="yiv326929119Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #072191;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;">e real truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together for a time, then they fall back apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that.<br /><br />Personal discovery and growth come from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.<br /><br />Suffering comes from wishing things were different. Misery is self inflicted, when we are expecting the “ideal” to overcome the “actual,” or needing things (or people, or places) to be different for us so we can then be happy.<br /><br />Let the hard things in life break you. Let them effect you. Let them change you.<br />Let these hard moments inform you. Let this pain be your teacher. The experiences of your life are trying to tell you something about yourself. Don't cop out on that. Don't run away and hide under your covers. Lean into it.<br /><br />WHAT IS THE LESSON IN THIS WIND? What is this storm trying to tell you? What will you learn if you face it with courage. With full honesty and -<br /><br />LEAN INTO IT.<br />~Pema Chodron</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="yiv326929119text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="yiv326929119Apple-style-span" style="color: #085691;"><span class="yiv326929119Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande';"><br /></span></span></span></span></div>
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The irony is that I began this recipe testing email this morning with the intention of sending you the link to Santa Barbara Magazine. My mom and sister's gingerbread houses are featured in this month's issues. http://sbmag.com/2011/11/the-house-that-kids-built/ I had posted a link to it on my blog. Melissa Madeline and I were looking at it together and she was helping me chose the new layout for the blog. Then all of our family pictures popped up from Yosemite. They made us both sad for a moment and that was when I told her I wasn't going to delete them. I was going to leave them as they were. And I need to add last years trip to Yosemite when the girls and I went on our own and still had a magnificent time. If anything, I think the girls are learning to be strong women. To find their own interests, abilities and things that make them proud of who they as individuals are. They are learning perhaps too soon what some women learn in their 20's or 30's but they are learning the lesson.</div>
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Perhaps it does make sense to send the link to the gingerbread now. Because the bakery was built by their grandmother, Susan Halme, and is run by she and my sister, Melissa Halme Redell. So it is yet another example of strong women in their family who work hard following their passion and in turn that passion brings JOY to others. </div>
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Which reminds me of another small miracle. When I was married our stocking holders were the word N O E L. There was one letter for each of us and then Princess had a snowflake. This year we needed to buy new stocking holders. I wanted to get P E A C E and just use the three middle letters. Melissa Madeline said how about J O Y. We looked and looked and it took us quite some searching to find the stocking holders that said J O Y. And we were joyous when we found them. Since then, JOY keeps coming up in amazing places. The little miracles reminding me I have filled our little house with joy and that my girls feels joy living here. </div>
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Sending JOY to all of you,</div>
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Maili</div>
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<a href="http://sbmag.com/2011/11/the-house-that-kids-built/">http://sbmag.com/2011/11/the-house-that-kids-built/</a></div>
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by SARAH YOUNG photographs by <a href="http://www.kissthegroom.com/">ELIZABETH MESSINA</a></div>
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<em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The holiday spirit comes alive one sweet treat at a time.</em></div>
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<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></em></strong></div>
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<a class="fancybox" href="http://sbmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Gingerbread1.jpg" rel="fancybox" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #333333; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;" title="Gingerbread1"><img alt="Annabelle Murray, Margot Josefsohn, and Madeline Murray show off their work of art." class="size-full wp-image-9421 " height="629" src="http://sbmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Gingerbread1.jpg" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" title="Gingerbread1" width="521" /></a><br />
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Annabelle Murray, Margot Josefsohn, and Madeline Murray show off their work of art.</div>
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<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Frosting-covered fingers</strong> dove into bowls of gumdrops, and little faces were laced with cookie crumbs at Santa Ynez Valley residents Pierre and Marguerite Josefsohn’s first annual gingerbread house-making party. This kid-friendly event was inspired by a holiday trip the Josefsohns and their children took to the Solvang Bakery’s own Gingerbread Decorating Workshop. “It was such a memorable day,” said Marguerite, “we decided to make it a Christmas tradition of our own.”</div>
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<a class="fancybox" href="http://sbmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/ginger2.jpg" rel="fancybox" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #333333; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;" title="ginger2"><img alt="ginger2" class="size-full wp-image-9427" height="665" src="http://sbmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/ginger2.jpg" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" title="ginger2" width="600" /></a><br />
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The children gather around the decoration station and nibble on cookies.</div>
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Nine children—who arrived at the Josefsohns’ home with smiles and sweet cravings—were greeted by mouth-watering comfort food prepared and served by award-winning chef and owner of the Ballard Inn, Budi Kazali. The kids nibbled on lunchtime favorites such as mac-n-cheese and sipped warming hot apple cider and hot chocolate before the main activity—adorning gingerbread houses. At the center of the decorating station stood a Christmas tree covered with cookie ornaments, and draped over each chair were personalized aprons. The kids scurried to their spots, indicated by individualized house-making kits—fit with a handmade assembled house, frosting, cookie doors, windows, shutters and doormats, sugar trees, and a personalized cookie provided by Melissa Redell, co-owner of the Solvang Bakery.</div>
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<a class="fancybox" href="http://sbmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/ginger-hosts.jpg" rel="fancybox" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #333333; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;" title="ginger hosts"><img alt=" Hosts Pierre and Marguerite Josefsohn." class="size-medium wp-image-9429" height="300" src="http://sbmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/ginger-hosts-219x300.jpg" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" title="ginger hosts" width="219" /></a><br />
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Hosts Pierre and Marguerite Josefsohn.</div>
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Redell and her mother, Susan Halme, have owned the bakery since 1981 and have been creating gingerbread houses for the past 30 years. Halme sketches and designs the houses and is always coming up with new details and ideas to make them even cuter. While at this event, watching the kids decorate was the most fulfilling aspect. “Seeing the original ideas that some of the kids had—and the joy in their eyes while they decorated their very own edible creation—was my favorite part,” said Redell.</div>
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As the construction progressed, so did the spirit of the season. The house exuded cheer with red, green, and gold glittering decorations that have been collected during the years. Los Angeles florist and friend Consuelo Aceves spent days transforming the home into Santa’s workshop. Complete with holiday tunes jingling in the background, the children frosted their houses, lingered at the candy station, and tasted a little of each treat—more than 25 sweets such as red licorice, colorful Skittles, and Necco wafers for embellishing their creations. “The children seemed to eat more of the gumdrops then they used for decorating,” said Marguerite.</div>
<div class="wp-caption alignright" id="attachment_9432" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #333333; display: block; float: right; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'Sans Serif'; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 20px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 584px;">
<a class="fancybox" href="http://sbmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Screen-shot-2011-11-30-at-8.32.53-AM.png" rel="fancybox" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #333333; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;" title="Gingerbread"><img alt="CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: Tiago Wiesenthal bites into his cookie with ease; a basket full of colorful candy decorations; Greer Biddlecomb is all smiles at this sugary soiree; Remi Josefsohn gets ready to frost his masterpiece; a house made with love; giggles flow from Luca Wiesenthal as he delights in his personalized treat." class="size-full wp-image-9432 " height="405" src="http://sbmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Screen-shot-2011-11-30-at-8.32.53-AM.png" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" title="Gingerbread" width="574" /></a><br />
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CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: Tiago Wiesenthal bites into his cookie with ease; a basket full of colorful candy decorations; Greer Biddlecomb is all smiles at this sugary soiree; Remi Josefsohn gets ready to frost his masterpiece; a house made with love; giggles flow from Luca Wiesenthal as he delights in his personalized treat.</div>
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After the houses were complete, Redell person-alized each one with an edible nameplate and wrapped it up with a bow. By the end of the after-noon, the wee ones’ tummies were satiated. Needless to say, they were satisfied and “a new tradition was born in the Josefsohn house,” said Marguerite.<a class="fancybox" href="http://sbmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/ginger-box3.jpg" rel="fancybox" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #333333; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;" title="ginger box"><img alt="ginger box" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-9446" height="294" src="http://sbmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/ginger-box3.jpg" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" title="ginger box" width="580" /></a></div>
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<a class="fancybox" href="http://sbmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/ginger3.jpg" rel="fancybox" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #333333; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;" title="ginger3"><img alt=" Little Leighton Hale has her eye set on a shiny ornament hanging from the bounteous Christmas tree." class="size-full wp-image-9448" height="786" src="http://sbmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/ginger3.jpg" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" title="ginger3" width="600" /></a><br />
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Little Leighton Hale has her eye set on a shiny ornament hanging from the bounteous Christmas tree.</div>
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</div>Maili Halmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08663399528463286005noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8180734138218206685.post-31131768896962112172011-08-20T08:57:00.000-07:002011-08-21T21:24:59.675-07:00Journaling Your Way to Grace<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6xZZinhfBvrVRNf4V2Xf5sjSTm4j5qkPBvdJo5ureoUIRU2nK6Q73tpDKXBsXGn0fUx1rv4uAvues7guH_NnLIISmxwyRkWrFZuIEQ557Zf8j7oS6yEN9S0C7-1SwBAx9ZKUxREKEg_4/s1600/45+Days+of+Grace+Journal.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 284px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6xZZinhfBvrVRNf4V2Xf5sjSTm4j5qkPBvdJo5ureoUIRU2nK6Q73tpDKXBsXGn0fUx1rv4uAvues7guH_NnLIISmxwyRkWrFZuIEQ557Zf8j7oS6yEN9S0C7-1SwBAx9ZKUxREKEg_4/s400/45+Days+of+Grace+Journal.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5642972425122453330" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.klp-inc.com/home.php"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">45 Days of Grace Journal</span></span></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3-Qm6iQm2NOXzPEJIou2znGQ2jpi0K-dY9PeRF37XJS_J9yH7UTHDHEJN3-sgYxUf8MB4_y-bz7O88lM54bbF17gq4tzSMQStjlrk6Iq6NBsFN3m2idU8L1gHjRncHr-09FPcuAupNDI/s1600/Artists+Way.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 333px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3-Qm6iQm2NOXzPEJIou2znGQ2jpi0K-dY9PeRF37XJS_J9yH7UTHDHEJN3-sgYxUf8MB4_y-bz7O88lM54bbF17gq4tzSMQStjlrk6Iq6NBsFN3m2idU8L1gHjRncHr-09FPcuAupNDI/s400/Artists+Way.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5642972419594799154" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.theartistsway.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron</span></span></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">A dear friend of mine gave me the journal </span></span><a href="http://www.klp-inc.com/home.php"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">45 Days of Grace.</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> When she first gave it to me I wasn't quite ready to write in it. It has prompts for each day and I wasn't sure I wanted to write from a prompt. I usually like to write freely about what is currently circling around in my mind. So I waited a few months before I began it. Beginning it and working through it was miraculous. It is amazing the clarity you can get to through writing. So often our minds are caught up in the secondary issue or a superficial issue. Somehow with writing you can begin to peel back layers and get to the core problems which leads to depth, understanding and in the end: Grace.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The journal is divided into three sections: Mind, Body and Spirit. Here are some examples of some of the prompts:</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#993399;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"What conversations or continuous loops do you play over and over when your mind is filled with noise? ("My mind on the hamster wheel...")</span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#993399;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#993399;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"I'd love to learn..."</span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#993399;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#993399;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"I'm puzzled by..."</span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#993399;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#993399;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"What activates the juices of your mind..."</span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#993399;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#993399;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"I am nourished by..."</span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#993399;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#993399;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"My heart aches..."</span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#993399;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#993399;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Wrestling with God..."</span></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#993399;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">There were honestly days when I resisted writing if the prompt was perhaps too painful and I felt I was doing well that day and didn't want to dig up anything painful. But everyday that I wrote I left feeling an immense sense of peace. And on almost every page I gained some kind of insight or wisdom. Something I hadn't seen before. Something different than just me complaining of an overwhelming list of things to do. Sometimes I diverged for a minute on the page and them came back to the topic. Sometimes I had so much to write that I inserted extra blank pages to finish writing.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">In the end I loved it so much that I won't finish it. I have three days left and I don't want it to be over. Isn't that crazy. I talked with my friend who also did the book and she and her sister did it together and neither of them wanted it to end either. I am going to go back and finish those last three pages and I know when I will be ready. I'm just going to make them linger--perhaps writing only one a month for the next three months.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">In the meantime I have started another journal. This journal is more of </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The Morning Pages</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> recommended in </span></span><a href="http://www.theartistsway.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The Artist's Way</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">. I was given </span></span><a href="http://www.theartistsway.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The Artist's Way</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> years ago and never touched it. I didn't really consider myself an artist so I didn't really think it was for me. Of course I wasn't realizing there are so many forms of art from writing to cooking to singing to painting to gardening to the traditional forms of art painting and sculpting. I feel like the book should be called </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Healing Your Life and Finding Happiness </span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">or </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Making Your Brain Come Alive</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> or just </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">WOW! </span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It is an understatement to express what a positive book it is and how it gets your mind flowing with possibility and excitement. It is the Power of Positive Thinking come true and the people who have had success in their own form of art after completing it is astounding. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I could quote the entire book it is that wonderful. It helps you get to the CORE of your feelings and your potential. It eliminates the negativity/censors/judgement in your mind and even explains why some people feel "safe" in their negativity. The author first recommends skimming the book. Skipping around and reading parts of it and kind of skimming through it before actually beginning it. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">So often we complain/vent about the superficial when there is something deeper underlying the way we feel. The Artist's Way actually gives you steps and tools for uncovering all sorts of emotional blocks. It truly helps you "break-through" to discover your true emotions and lead you to your greatest potential. It helps conquer fears and all sorts of things and the way she writes is as the safest most encouraging friend. So you feel safe and good while you unlock the best parts of you.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#336666;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"'This marriage is not working for me,' the morning pages say. And then 'I wonder about couples therapy?' and then, 'I wonder if I'm not just bored with me.'" </span></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#336666;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#336666;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"I have outgrown this job," may appear in the morning pages. At first, it is a troubling perception. Over time, it becomes a call for action and then an action plan." p.81</span></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#336666;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It truly is so hard to start picking out quotes and passages because I want to copy down the entire book. If I had to pick another favorite part it is near the end about the Sacred Circles. We tend to have this illusion that only one person can succeed. That only one person can be "the best." It is far from true. Cameron writes this so beautifully there is no point in me paraphrasing. I will just write her words:</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Success occurs in clusters. Drawing a Sacred Circle creates a sphere of safety and a center of attraction for our good.</span></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The Sacred Circle is built on respect and trust. The image is of a garden. Each plant has its name and its place. </span></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">There is no flower that cancels the need for another. Each bloom has its unique and irreplaceable beauty. </span></span></b></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;"><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></b></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Let our gardening hands be gentle ones. Let us not root up one another's ideas before they have time to bloom. Let us bear with the process of growth, dormancy, cyclicality, fruition and reseeding. Let us never be hasty to judge, reckless in our urgency to force unnatural growth. Let there be, always, a place for the artist toddler to try, to falter, to fail, to try again. Let us remember that in nature's world every loss has meaning. The same is true for us. Turned to good use, a creative failure may be the compost that nourishes next season's creative success. Remember, we are in this for the long haul, the ripening and harvest, not the quick fix." -Julia Cameron.</span></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I can give you thousands of examples of success and this kind of determination. From </span></span><a href="http://harvardmagazine.com/2008/06/the-fringe-benefits-failure-the-importance-imagination"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">JK Rowling's </span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">12 rejections of Harry Potter to </span></span><a href="http://www.more.com/kathryn-stockett-help-best-seller"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Kathryn Stockett</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, author of The Help, who was rejected 60 times! (You can get the links to these stories of rejection and triumph if you click on the author's names.) JK Rowling's Commencement speech at Harvard was called </span></span><a href="http://harvardmagazine.com/2008/06/the-fringe-benefits-failure-the-importance-imagination"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination.</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> The Diary of Ann Frank was in the trash pile and rescued by Judith Jones. Julia Child's cookbook was rejected 6 times. Failure, disappointment, rejection and mistakes are all a part of of life. And they are often opportunities to stretch, grow and move in a new direction.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(17, 17, 17); font-family:'helvetica neue', helvetica, arial, sans-serif;font-size:medium;"><p style=" line-height: 24px; font-family:georgia, times, serif;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#990000;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.</span></span></i></span></p><p style=" line-height: 24px; font-family:georgia, times, serif;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#990000;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above the price of rubies." --JK Rowling</span></span></i></span></p><p style=" line-height: 24px; font-family:georgia, times, serif;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">What I have learned from all of this in this miraculous year of growth and transformation is that we all make mistakes and we are all struggling with some kind of challenge whether large or small. Let me say that again: WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. And it is so important to forgive yourself and go forward. Sometimes I feel I'm in the movie Groundhog Day and I make the mistake again and again until I get it right. But then a lightbulb goes on when you realize what does and doesn't work in your life, in your relationships and in your daily happiness. For instance being patient and kind with your children instead of yelling at them when you are tired and frustrated is a BIG lesson for me. Maya Angelou wrote: </span></span></span></p><p style=" line-height: 24px; font-family:georgia, times, serif;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 18px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, </span></span></i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 18px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;"><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">'Well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' </span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.' If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that's rough. But you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn" -Maya Angelou
<br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; line-height: 24px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
<br /></span></span></span></i></span></span></p><p style=" line-height: 24px; font-family:georgia, times, serif;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; line-height: 24px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">As you may be able to tell quotes and words INSPIRE me. My journals are filled with my favorite quotes. They can be a spark as well as a comfort.</span></span></span></i></span></span></p><p style=" line-height: 24px; font-family:georgia, times, serif;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">You may think I'm crazy but I also have a gratitude journal. I don't write in it everyday because I often drive around thinking about what I would write in my gratitude journal and what I am thankful for. So it has the same positive effect. And my girls and I have started this practice of each saying two things we are grateful for every night. It is amazing how happy you are when you go to bed, even giddy sometimes, when you talk about the parts of your day that you are grateful for. I love hearing theirs and they love hearing mine. So if the other two journals don't seem like they would work for you then perhaps a gratitude journal is something you will enjoy. </span></span></span></p><p style=" line-height: 24px; font-family:georgia, times, serif;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">In my journals I repeatedly came upon recurring themes; perhaps the biggest being that "Kindness Matters." The other thing that surfaced over and over again was my greatest weakness: Patience. (<a href="http://mailiwriting.blogspot.com/search/label/Patience">Patience</a> I could write about for pages and I already wrote a blog post devoted to<a href="http://mailiwriting.blogspot.com/search/label/Patience"> Patience</a> alone.) Over and over again Patience, Compassion, Understanding, Kindness and Prayer kept surfacing. I'm a better mother, a better friend and a better person now. I can still stumble but for the most part I have this sense of Peace and Grace that I carry with me most of the time. I can feel the times when I get anxious or stressed but mostly I can pray through those and if those prayers come in the form of writing in a journal they are even more powerful. The result is a sense of calm and belief in the goodness in the world. A delight in the possibilities that exist and the Blessings we are showered with daily. Peace and Grace to all of you.</span></span></span></p></span></div>Maili Halmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08663399528463286005noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8180734138218206685.post-37818642653766813542011-06-27T16:58:00.000-07:002011-06-27T21:34:21.291-07:00If I Were to Die TomorrowThis poem is written by my dear friend, <a href="http://www.spokenincense.com/">Mary Natwick,</a> from her book <i><a href="http://www.spokenincense.com/online-store.php">Waking a Lover</a>. </i>I enjoyed the poem so very much that I wanted to share it with all of you. I particularly connected with the part about sunsets, since I am so often struck by there unbelievable beauty. They feel like such a gift; just like Mary's poem.<div><br /></div><div><b><i>If I Were to Die Tomorrow</i></b></div><div><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div><i>I never got to go on an African safari</i></div><div><i>or see the Northern lights</i></div><div><i>or visit Schotland and Wales, or take a ferry</i></div><div><i>up the Sognefjord in Norway to my ancestors' farm</i></div><div><i>I never got to climb Mount Everest</i></div><div><i>and that pilgrimage through Spain sounded so tempting!</i></div><div><i>--and Stonehenge--</i></div><div><i>--the Amazon River--</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>but it was never on my list to have so many good friends</i></div><div><i>to have such a Buddha-teacher son</i></div><div><i>to have a husband who knows me so intimately</i></div><div><i> he can even explain me to myself</i></div><div><i>it was never on my list to love little scrinchy newborn babies</i></div><div><i>no moments made my list,</i></div><div><i>like the scarlet tanager singing in the blossoming pear tree</i></div><div><i>the coyote sitting on a desert road at sunrise</i></div><div><i>laughing uncontrollably never made the list</i></div><div><i>and sunsets: tonight while driving into stunning purple and </i></div><div><i>orange swirls I said "this must be the best one ever"</i></div><div><i>even though I've seen a thousand such -- can you imagine,</i></div><div><i>a thousand spectacular sunsets!</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>How lucky can a person get?</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>If I were to die tomorrow, I would have only a few</i></div><div><i>regrets -- one of which might be that my list was</i></div><div><i>so much shallower than my life</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><a href="http://www.spokenincense.com/">Mary Natwick</a>, <i><a href="http://www.spokenincense.com/online-store.php">Waking a Lover</a></i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i><a href="http://www.spokenincense.com/">www.spokenincense.com/</a></i></div>Maili Halmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08663399528463286005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8180734138218206685.post-19857481576964464162011-06-06T12:07:00.000-07:002011-06-06T12:17:33.484-07:00Yosemite 2011<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVnVZojrWonJz6xpkSi1vZ41bLoWgotATmcSRS9AMnXXaKvpSvGI8rlbkMjfG_XvxgyOuv4EFwJ1BEKGNrPsUgnT66WOjC42_PQEv5oA-hl7L7C_C_1m81sX6uRXlIn59RZFf0MbS5J-I/s1600/IMG_1478.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 299px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVnVZojrWonJz6xpkSi1vZ41bLoWgotATmcSRS9AMnXXaKvpSvGI8rlbkMjfG_XvxgyOuv4EFwJ1BEKGNrPsUgnT66WOjC42_PQEv5oA-hl7L7C_C_1m81sX6uRXlIn59RZFf0MbS5J-I/s400/IMG_1478.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5615186242253107394" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000EE;"><u><br /></u></span></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrA_O0mU94o6BagDmXatNz8YGhbojxRHMmmxfyu0ZwjzckWFPreQ7N9bZhWRlL7j483as0coizWtEkireHkSb5wNP-rJbenjHQ9-R6dsy7DFae_DrElMu0aO4E8Agk8kxITpOz3BaCBhU/s1600/IMG_1497.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 299px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrA_O0mU94o6BagDmXatNz8YGhbojxRHMmmxfyu0ZwjzckWFPreQ7N9bZhWRlL7j483as0coizWtEkireHkSb5wNP-rJbenjHQ9-R6dsy7DFae_DrElMu0aO4E8Agk8kxITpOz3BaCBhU/s400/IMG_1497.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5615186227170335970" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul." --John Muir</span></span></i></span><div><br /></div><div><div style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">We just returned from our annual trip to Yosemite. I've been going since I was 7 years old and it gives me immense joy to see the delight on every child's face and being under those giant redwoods and surrounded by the enormous boulders and gorgeous waterfalls. The children riding their bikes have this sense of freedom and independence that perhaps feels like driving a car for the first time when you are 16. There is something different about riding a bike there. It is truly the ultimate playground for children topped off by a campfire every night. As an adult I'm moved by it's beauty every year. </span></div><div style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">It was a unique year this year. It was unusually cold. No bathing suits by the river and instead winter jackets, space heaters and lots of blankets in the tent cabins. Somehow in the cold I felt like I was visiting a new place. I have to be honest and say I wasn't looking forward to the cold when I saw the weather report. Camping in the cold did not sound like fun to me. Many people cancelled their reservations when they saw the weather. But there was a beauty to the cold I hadn't seen before. I hadn't seen the clouds in front of the granite walls. And because of the record snow fall this year there were waterfalls that didn't previously exist. The giant dogwoods were in full bloom instead of at the end of their season. My sister and I went on a walk and when we came back the boys were all playing hide-and-go seek among the rocks. And for all the work it is for the parents with planning, loading, driving and setting up camp, to see the kids blissfully playing reaffirms the joy is worth the effort to get there. And even though a large number of people visit the park is so large that you are still able to have moments alone. Moments in the wilderness. </span></div></div><div style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><i><a href="http://themailifiles.blogspot.com/2009/06/campfire-trout-or-pan-fried-trout-if-it.html">For recipes and pictures from the last ten years of Yosemite trips click here.</a></i></div>Maili Halmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08663399528463286005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8180734138218206685.post-58804629057920482392011-05-15T12:15:00.000-07:002011-05-15T18:01:24.054-07:00Patience<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">My greatest weakness is that I am impatient. This impatience applies to so many areas of my life from cooking to relationships to just dealing with the everyday parts of life. When I have no control at all: being stuck in traffic on the freeway, waiting in a doctor's office, waiting in a long line, or sitting on a delayed plane flight, I force myself into an almost meditative positive state to get through it. Ironically, in some of the most awful times, when there is nothing I can do, I am quite patient and make the best of it. I make lemonade out of lemons. I often keep a notebook in my purse or have a book nearby and I'll take that waiting as an opportunity to read or write. When we ran out of gas one time I took some of my favorite pictures waiting for the auto club to come and help us. Same with the dead battery. My daughter and I had a nice time waiting together. Sometimes I am just still and try to notice what is around me.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">However if there is the slight modicum that I might have control over "the waiting," that I personally can do something "to hurry things along" then having patience is my greatest challenge. In cooking I can't tell you how many times I didn't let the onions caramelize enough before I added the tomatoes. I was impatient to get the recipe finished and put in all the ingredients. But if I could have just waited a few more minutes than the onions would have been sweet and perfect. The acid in the tomatoes stops the onions from caramelizing so no matter how long you cook your sauce or soup you after you prematurely add the tomatoes you can't go back and fix the onions. My impatience as a cook prevented the onions from developing that sweet and delicious depth of taste. Instead they are bitter and I kick myself every time I eat the </span></span><a href="http://themailifiles.blogspot.com/2010/08/vodka-meat-sauce.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Vodka Sauce</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> that I literally didn't take five extra minutes to wait. The same with veal stock that needs to be reduced. TIME IS THE KEY FACTOR. Let it alone and let it slowly do what it is supposed to do. The difference is either watery tasteless broth or a deep rich incredible sauce. And patience is what it takes.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I'm a doer. I like to get things done. I like to make decisions and go forward with a plan. I don't like to sit around and wait to decide what to do. I'm also used to being in charge. I was used to running large events and giving directions and getting a lot done. I accomplished so much at such a frenetic pace that it made some people's heads spin. I however felt like I wasn't accomplishing enough. I'd have 20 things on my list of things to do and would find I was lucky if I could truly accomplish three to five of those each day. There was always something "more" I could do and I impatiently wanted to do it all. And the result is that you have a feeling of "never enough." That there is never "enough time" and that you just make endless lists of "more to do."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Perhaps the greatest lesson I received of all is working with my special needs daughter homeschooling. When I'm working with her I must wait. I can't make grocery lists or clean the house to work on another project when I'm next to her. I have to just sit there and BE with her. 95% of the time she gets the right answers but I must give her the time to figure out those answers on her own. I want to give her the answers or show her a quicker way. But I have to let her do it alone. Her art is the same. She draws very slowly and meticulously but the most beautiful drawings emerge if you give her the time and space to do her art. Suddenly while I'm waiting "time" seems longer. The clock isn't spinning as quickly. Everything had to slow down so much that I was even aware of my breathing. I had to learn to be "in the moment" with her.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I know many of you who have read my recipe testing emails have noticed my typos or mistakes that were all a result of speed. I want to write as quickly as I can and hit send. Proof-reading requires patience and time and I just want to write and share. We live in such a time of instant gratification. We have fast food, we have text messages and emails. Everything is so immediate that we are so used to getting things in an instant and when we don't it is so easy to get frustrated. Interruptions and delays are all things that seem intolerable.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">But I have learned how priceless patience can be. A dear friend wisely wrote to me "when you don't know what to do next: do nothing. When you don't know: be still in the moment. The 'thing to do' will present itself." Another friend told me her favorite quote is "Be still and know that I am God." That you can only hear and feel God when you are still and patient enough to listen, not rushing around in oblivion. Think of seeing and feeling the depth and beauty of nature. If we are always rushing to our next appointment or worrying about making the next phone call than we may not notice the tree in bloom next to the freeway or have the moment to take a walk and see what is all around us. Even my recent internet connection challenges, which were so frustrating at first, have been their own gift of learning the beauty and gift of patience and waiting. Think of a child's joy when the power goes so they can light candles and pretend they are camping vs the adult's frustration with the challenges of it.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Recently I've been given two incredible examples about Patience. One is from </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Zorba the Greek</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> and the other is from David Anderson's book </span></span><i><a href="http://books.google.com/books?id=-zxeEHOmTrIC&pg=PA113&lpg=PA113&dq=david+anderson+hands+off+hatch&source=bl&ots=lI2DQ1Cklu&sig=YAcBNZGz2EMLmGYjtb9v2vg8aYg&hl=en&ei=LCXQTYinBor0swPqn4yiCw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CBoQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q&f=false"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Breakfast Epiphanies</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">entitled </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><b>Hands Off: We Hatch Alone.</b></span></span></i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000099;">"I remembered one morning when I discovered a cocoon in a bark of a tree, just as a butterfly was making a hole in its case and preparing to come out. I waited awhile, but it was too long appearing and I was impatient. I bent over it and breathed on it to warm it. I warmed it as quickly as I could and the miracle began to happen before my eyes, faster than life.</span></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000099;"><br /></span></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000099;">The case opened, the butterfly started slowly crawling out and I shall never forget my horror when I saw how its wings were folded back and crumpled; the wretched butterfly tried with its whole trembling body to unfold them. Bending over it I tried to help it with my breath. In vain.</span></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000099;"><br /></span></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000099;">It needed to be hatched out patiently and the unfolding of its wings should be a gradual process in the sun. Now it was too late. My breath had forced the butterfly to appear, all crumpled, before its time. It struggled desperately and, a few seconds later, died in the palm of my hand.</span></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000099;"><br /></span></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000099;">The little body is, I do believe, the greatest weight I have on my conscience, for I realized today that it is a mortal sin to violate the great laws of nature. We should not hurry, we should not be impatient, but we should confidently obey the eternal rhythm." --Nikos Kazantzakis, </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000099;">Zorba the Greek</span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><br /></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:16px;">The second from David Anderson, called </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: normal; font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:16px;"><a href="http://books.google.com/books?id=-zxeEHOmTrIC&pg=PA113&lpg=PA113&dq=david+anderson+hands+off+hatch&source=bl&ots=lI2DQ1Cklu&sig=YAcBNZGz2EMLmGYjtb9v2vg8aYg&hl=en&ei=LCXQTYinBor0swPqn4yiCw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CBoQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q&f=false">Hands Off: We Hatch Alone</a> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">also requires the miracle of patience. It is the greatest gift you can give those you love whether they be child, spouse or friend.</span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><br /></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;">"Last week a box of chicks were hatching in the kindergarten classroom of our day school. There was a long line of children outside the class waiting to get a peek at the eggs. So I got in line. It had been a while for me, too.</span></span></span></i></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;"><br /></span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;"><i></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;">As they moved through the line, all the children had their hands clasped behind their backs. I inquired why. Teacher's orders: This is how we approach mysteries that we cannot touch. Good idea. I put my hands behind my back, too. The eggs were small and quiet in the light. One was slightly cracked, another chipped, a small shell fragment lying below. But most were perfect and still.</span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;"><br /></span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;">We watched those eggs for the next week. When one hatched, the chick was moved into a box with the other free birds. But I kept noticing the quiet eggs, the few that couldn't seem to break free. In the kitchen with a cup of coffee I asked Annette, one of the teachers, what was wrong.</span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;"><br /></span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;">'Actually,' she said, 'we're doing pretty good. Odds are, 25 percent just don't hatch. And of course,' she said, 'you can't help them do it." Remember that childhood lesson?</span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;"><br /></span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;">It's worth remembering. We talk much about our interdependence, about helping one another, and it's true--to a point. But we cannot help a single other person hatch. If the task of life is to break continually out of the shells that confine us and into freedom, that is a solitary task. Helping doesn't help.</span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;"><br /></span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;">Every child must resist officious adults. 'I want to do it </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;">myself!</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;">' The tendency of love is to do too much. We can't keep our hands off other people's struggling lives. We forget that the struggle is natural and necessary. It's painful and perilous to get into this world, and it's usually more of the same when we leave. No strife, no life. But every generation wants to spare its children the bitter struggles of its own enduring. What we now call 'the greatest generatioin' often wonders how their children and grandchildren would have been be able to endure war, Depression, rationing, universal sacrifice and hardship. The answer is simply that the 'greatest' generation determined to eliminate for its children the very difficulties that made them great. They ran resistance for their kids, they gave them money for nothing and perks for free. They got them better jobs to start and acceded to the notion that they ought to have at the beginning of their lives everything their parents had at the end. And they did it absolutely in love.</span></span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;"><br /></span></span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;">Reinhold Niebuhr said, 'I am never so dangerous as when I act in love.' Not only romantic love is blind. Every so-called love that seeks to do for others what needs--crucially--to be done by oneself is blind to its own ego needs. When I seek to help others, what need is that meeting in me? Do I need to appear stronger? If my child fails, am I afraid of how that reflects on me, on my family? If we're not asking these questions, we're dangerous in love.</span></span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;"><br /></span></span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;">In twelve-step terminology, that kind of 'love' is called enabling. It's helping someone to death. Some of us have friends or family in that extreme plight. And all of us deal daily with ordinary people who need to hatch. Our job is to coach some and cheer for progress but mostly to leave them alone. Beautiful, life-giving neglect. </span></span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;"><br /></span></span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;">It was fun watching the chicks peck, wriggle, and kick their way into this life. But then I'm not a chicken. It's much harder when one of your own is on the dark side of that shell. Then it can hurt. Then it's life and death. Then we want to reach out and help...just a little. Our hearts actually get in the way; we forget that no one can break anyone else through.</span></span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;"><br /></span></span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;">Parents cannot do it for adolescents and adult children; husbands and wives cannot do it for one another; neither can friends. We cannot stop drinking for someone else; we cannot find someone a vocation; we cannot stop (or start) eating for another; we cannot life the pall of depression or assuage the unspeakable pain of a single other person. If they are going to break into freedom, they will have to hatch themselves. We can keep the egg warm, and we must pray--but with hands folded behind our backs. For this is the only way we may approach mysteries that we cannot touch."</span></span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><br /></span></i></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Patience has so many aspects to it: Patience helps us to be who we are as individuals. Patience allows others to be themselves. Patience allows "flavors to develop" in a recipe, flowers to bloom, trees to grow tall, grape juice to change into wine, children to learn to walk, and gifts to be born. Patience, while it involves waiting, miraculously allows us to be here now. It allows us to see and enjoy the gift of this moment and to appreciate the process as much as the final result.</span></span></div>Maili Halmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08663399528463286005noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8180734138218206685.post-12656640319816950842011-05-08T07:59:00.000-07:002012-05-13T10:09:49.837-07:00Mother's Day<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia;">I have the privilege of having many people share their most personal and vulnerable stories with me. I suppose it is because I'm a very open and vulnerable person myself and am filled with compassion. Recently I've had quite a few incredible people come up to me and tell me about the pain of their childhood and how certain words or actions by their mother's hurt them. Interestingly enough all of these are successful people with great friends who made adjustments and became loving compassionate giving people despite the shortcomings of their parents. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia;">After listening to these stories Janice Tieken posted on Facebook "Sometimes I imagine that people come from a perfect loving families and that I am in the minority to not have to be so. Logically I know this is false. Of course some do, but not all by far." Then she wrote "finding a way to love our flawed parents benefits us the most." Her post had 28 comments! 28! All on the pain experienced by flawed parents and how each person dealt with and overcame that pain. Each person had a way of dealing with their own pain. But most wrote forgiveness was ultimately the way they moved forward.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia;">Here are two examples that were beautiful and heartfelt:</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">"I've experienced the full cycle of difficult parents and childhood to the redemption of then facing issues and becoming beautiful, heartfelt souls. Now when I look back I can concentrate on the beauty, before the resolve, I only saw the pai</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">n. We are all just childlike souls here who make mistakes and react in fear until we learn grace (my experience). & looking at & learning from the pain & patterns is freeing. I don't know that anyone had a painfree childhood but I think those who get to examine & learn & ultimately choose what they bring forward have a richness others don't know." -</span></span></div>
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><a class="actorName" hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=650507965" href="https://www.facebook.com/DKCRAWFORD" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">D.k. Crawford</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">"No one is perfect; just as we are flawed, so are our parents, and others, flawed. True love, I think, involves accepting and loving people despite their flaws."</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">For me I always wanted to be a Mom. I wrote about it in my high school year book that it was one of my goals. From the time I was little I imagined being a mother. I liked to do so many homey things like sew, cook and knit. My sister and I were constant "nesters." We'd move into our cabin in Yosemite and immediately make our little shelf next to our bed "home." The same with a hotel or wherever we went. We did all sorts of things to make something homey and having children seemed the ideal extension of our natural "homemaking" abilities.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I was a camp counselor in high school and had "the best cabin," "the best dining hall table." The kids respected me and liked me and seemed proud to try to do a good job and follow my lead without me having to yell or be strict. I just explained the rules and the goals and they followed them. I thought I was so good with kids that I would be the perfect mother.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I wanted to have four kids in four years, just like the Bringard's. My mom had had four kids in 6 years, which was a lot of fun for us as kids but closer seemed even better.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Then I got pregnant. I was so sick for the entire 9 months. I never imagined I could be that sick for that long. I never imagined that when Melissa Madeline was born I would love her so much that my protective maternal instinct of worrying went into overdrive. "If there was a tidal wave where would I escape to. If she feel out of the stroller and into the drain how would I rescue her." Danger seemed everywhere. I was afraid to leave her alone if I took a shower. </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I had this concept that I would anticipate her every need so that she would never have to cry. I would feed her and care for her so well that she would be supremely happy. Then at five months I got pregnant again. And sick for only the first 3 months this time, but was on bed rest for pre-term labor for the last three months. My mother and a slew of army wives helped me care for Melissa Madeline around the clock while I was on bed rest since Jason was at work. Jason took care of her when he got home.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Then Melissa started having the febrile seizures and we didn't know what was wrong. Were they just the high fevers, were they something else. The most bizarre thing happened to me. Whenever my children were sick I would get angry. It hurt me so much that they were in pain and suffering in anyway so my hurt turned to anger because I didn't want them to be sick. </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Without writing all the details that many know about sleepless nights and throwing up in the middle of the night and the demanding, never-ending schedules of taking care of children I can sum it up by saying it was the most humbling exhausting experience of my life and I wasn't very good at it. The toddler years were the hardest when you had to watch them every second for fear they would fall and hurt themselves. After three, when they could play more easily, it got a little easier. But forget about "homemaking" and "nesting." Suddenly the house was in a constant mess from toys, laundry, crafts and projects. No more did I have a tidy house that we just cleaned on Saturday mornings. I felt like I had to put blinders on just to get through the day. </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia;">And I won't go into a long dialogue about the food but that had to be the worst blow to me. People pay me large sums of money to eat my food and here I had my kids complaining and crying about what I cooked. I cook to make people happy and give them a gift. And I got crying from the gift I was giving. I remember in a last ditch effort making Peanut Butter cookies for Melissa when she was two. I thought at least that had protein and maybe should would eat that. She didn't touch them. I cried. My children eat better now that they are older but being a chef and having picky eaters was also an extremely humbling experience.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">About the time they were four and five I read an article from Oprah's "What I Know for Sure." In it was a quote from Toni Morrison that said: "<b>When a child's parents enter a room, that child is unconsciously asking herself, </b></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><b>Do my mom's and dad's eyes light up when they see me? Do they think I matter?</b>"</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> At the time I read the article my girls were still waking up very early in the morning and I can't say that my eyes were lighting up when they woke me up. I just wanted a little more sleep, a little more time to myself. But after I read that article I made a conscious effort to smile and be delighted whenever they walked in the room. And guess what happened: suddenly I was delighted. I started trying to count my Blessings of the time I got to spend with my children. </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">One famous actress said that her kids didn't care if she was famous or not or won an academy award or not. All her kids cared about was that they were what mattered in her life. </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Of course there have been other challenges, the biggest perhaps was homeschooling my brilliant artistic special needs daughter who has Asperger's and Dyslexia. And at the same time doing the best for Katherine and her own unique needs. Life is a constant mixture of challenges and Blessings. </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Now I'm a single mother. That has its own new set of challenges but I'm embracing them. And the girls and I are finding joy in being together. One night we were all folding laundry together on the bed, and Melissa Madeline turned on itunes and started dancing. Then Katherine started dancing. So I got up and started dancing. There we were all dancing, folding and putting away laundry. Melissa Madeline said "I love living in a house of girls." I read an article in Whole Living on the zen you can find in doing simple household chores and I realized my daughter found the joy and zen without even needing to read the article. The girls are quite proud of their new skills and I'm proud they are learning how to take care of themselves.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">There isn't an instruction book on parenting. And we all know that "collective wisdom" on parenting changes so frequently. One Jungian analyst, Daryl Sharp wrote:</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> "I used to have a fantasy that somewhere there was a Big Book of collective wisdom called </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">What to do When. </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">It contained the prescribed solution to all life's problems. Whenever you found yourself in conflict you could just look it up in the book and do what it said."</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia;">But that book doesn't exist. We all instead stumble along trying to do our best and figure out the curve balls the are thrown into our lives. But I have found one thing that does help. The answers lie somewhere in the combination of: forgiveness, patience, compassion, understanding and gratitude. Forgiving ourselves for our own mistakes is first. It is so easy to blame others and try to criticize others without looking in the mirror first. Secondly it comes in loving yourself so that you can freely love your children and others. Patience, compassion and understanding all speak for themselves if they are sought in their truest forms. Gratitude, like forgiveness, is worth an extra mention. I have found that Gratitude can turn your day around. Gratitude journals, daily gratitude lists, finding the SL's (Silver Linings) as my friend, Hollye would say. It is healing to look for all the things your parents did for you instead of put a magnifying glass on their shortcomings or your own shortcomings. Humor helps too. Sometimes the shortcomings become humorous and life becomes more bearable when you can laugh at yourself.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia;">So on this Mother's Day I send rest for those who are weary. I send healing for those who have been wounded. I send gratitude for the many things my Mother did for me and continues to do for me. I send love to my daughter's who taught me to be someone far different that I imagined I would be. And I send peace and love to all.</span></span></div>Maili Halmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08663399528463286005noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8180734138218206685.post-61391619082068837442010-11-07T12:02:00.000-08:002010-11-07T12:08:02.595-08:00Happy November and Hot Water<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">Happy November Recipe Testers!</span><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">It is a glorious fall day here and I just wanted to take a minute to celebrate this month devoted to the Feast of Gratitude: Thanksgiving! </div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">Something amazing happens when you stop and pause and appreciate all the glorious food out there: you lose weight! You only need a few moments to stop and think of how Blessed we are to live in this country with such an abundant food source. That food is everywhere and so accessible to us. It is truly wonderful! And if you stop for just a moment to be thankful for what you are eating and putting in your mouth and appreciating every taste and bite than you rarely overeat. Mindful eating with gratitude is a sure way to have a wonderful day and feel terrific! I really can't emphasize enough how important it is to enjoy and taste your food. So many people have food issues and guilt issues and the simple act of appreciating what you eat and knowing there is such an abundance of wonderful food that is so healing and good for your body is truly one of the keys to health and happiness.</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">I've been meaning to tell you about my hot water heater for a long time. When we remodeled our kitchen I really wanted a pantry. We have a small house so we had to be creative. I had seen these tankless hot water heaters in Europe and they are the same ones used in other efficient locations. They are incredibly energy effiecient and you have an endless supply of hot water and it is about the size of an extra large cereal box. So certainly a space saver too! On the day we went to buy the tankless heater the one we had researched and that had the five-star rating was sold out everywhere. We went to Lowe's, Home Depot, everywhere we could from Camarillo to Ventura to try to find the one we wanted to buy. Our contractor was only had a short window to work on our house before he went to his next job so it was essential we get something immediately! We decided to buy the one that had a four-star rating that was ironically more expensive. Well, there is a little fluke with the one we bought and perhaps the reason for being down a star. For some reason, in the middle of your shower, for less than 60 seconds, your water will get cold. Sometimes it is only 10 seconds and most often only 30 seconds. It is enough time to be annoying but not annoying enough for me to have it replaced. So when it happens I stand out of the cold water and start counting. And in that time of counting to 30 I think how lucky we are to live in a house with running water. I think of all the people in the world that don't have this simple luxury that we take for granted: hot running water in our house. And I truly don't think I'll ever fix it because there is something in that 30 seconds that reminds me how lucky I am and how much I have to be grateful for. And then the wonderful hot water comes back and I feel wonderful clean and relaxed and refreshed. There is nothing better than a good hot shower.</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">My sister and a few friends used to write Gratitude emails to each other. We'd quickly email a list of 10 things we were grateful for that morning. You can't believe the difference it made in our outlook on the day and how the problems and to do lists and stress we felt were suddenly lifted. It is best to share the lists with a close friend because then you can write truly anything you are grateful for. Now that it is the month of November I thought I'd start doing it again. Try for a minimum of 10, but feel free to write as many as you want. </div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">1. I'm grateful Princess slept through the night and didn't wake me up! </div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">2. I'm grateful for my morning cup of tea that I just love.</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">3. I'm grateful for email and facebook so I can still be in touch with my friend, Kirsteen, who is in China for 4 months. I can see videos and pictures of her life there and feel like I'm sharing it with her.</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">4. I'm grateful I get to met Erica's twins for the first time this Thursday.</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">5. I'm grateful Pete came home safely from Afghanistan. </div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">6. I'm grateful Karen is coming to help me file and organize the office.</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">7. I'm grateful we have a tradition of having a lovely Halloween dinner with Elizabeth and Lee year after year. It is good to have an official date to get together to mark the years going by and be amazed at how our gorgeous children have grow up so quickly.</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">8. I'm grateful Jason and the girls had so much fun carving pumpkins and that they didn't need my help at all.</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">9. I'm grateful for the artichoke plant my neighbor, Kelley, gave to me because I think Artichokes are so lovely in the garden.</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">10. I'm grateful Jill could help me cook for the Halloween party on Friday. It is always so much fun to cook with a friend.</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">11. I'm grateful my husband likes to dress up for our Halloween party and has as much fun as the kids.</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">And yes I'm grateful for the big things too like my children's health and our home and my family and friends and all of those things. I'm grateful for the big things and the little things, but sometimes there is something about being grateful for the tiny things that add up to the big things.</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;font-size:100%;color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Helvetica;color:#000000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">In my last email I was talking about the rich and delicious vitamin packed pumpkin. Right after I wrote the email i was making my beef chili and vegetarian chili for our Halloween party and I decided to add pumpkin puree to both of them. It was a great addition. I also added pasilla-ancho chiles and some cinnamon sticks and that was a great addition too. Then I went to Fresh and Easy and tried their pumpkin soup and it was wonderful and super low in calories so I'm going to try to whip up a version to share with all of you. And then one of my favorite food blogs Cannelle et Vanille has a gluten free recipe from Pumpkin and Quinoa Gnocchi. Here is the link: <a href="http://cannelle-vanille.blogspot.com/2010/10/pumpkin-quinoa-and-hazelnut-gnocchi-and.html">http://cannelle-vanille.blogspot.com/2010/10/pumpkin-quinoa-and-hazelnut-gnocchi-and.html</a></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">Finally, before I share the recipes below I want to mention that our dear friend, <a href="http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Teen-Heartthrob-Shaun-Cassidy">Shaun Cassidy, will be on Oprah this Thursday, November 4.</a> So be sure to watch or tape it. Tracey and the kids will be on the episode with him because they filmed all the animals at their farm as well. <a href="http://themailifiles.blogspot.com/2010/10/dried-fruit-and-cheese-platter.html">(The wooden platter for the cheese </a>below was a gift from Tracey and I'm grateful for that beautiful gift too!)</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">With gratitude,</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">Maili</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium; ">Recipes I shared with this email: <a href="http://themailifiles.blogspot.com/2010/10/dried-fruit-and-cheese-platter.html">Fall Dried Fruit and Cheese Platter </a> and <a href="http://mailihealthyrecipes.blogspot.com/2010/05/fiddle-version-linguini-with-with-clam.html">Fiddle Linguini with Clam Sauce</a></div>Maili Halmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08663399528463286005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8180734138218206685.post-10187164546138671282010-10-21T07:03:00.001-07:002010-10-21T07:54:08.277-07:00Afraid to Speak<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 19px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-family:Helvetica, Times, fantasy;font-size:large;"><h3 class="UIIntentionalStory_Message" ft="{"type":"msg"}" style=" color: rgb(51, 51, 51); margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-weight: normal; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; font-family:'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;font-size:13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Times New Roman', Times, fantasy;font-size:130%;color:#454545;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-size:14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Lucida Grande', Times, fantasy;font-size:130%;color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Helvetica, Times, fantasy;"><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; border-collapse: collapse; font-family:georgia, 'bookman old style', 'palatino linotype', 'book antiqua', palatino, 'trebuchet ms', helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, 'avante garde', 'century gothic', 'comic sans ms', times, 'times new roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#13800F;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:16px;">"They're certainly entitled to think that, and they're entitled to full respect for their opinions... but before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience. " ~Harper Lee, </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#13800F;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:16px;">To Kill a Mockingbird</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#13800F;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:16px;">, Chapter 11, spoken by the character Atticus<br /><br />"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do." ~Harper Lee, </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#13800F;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:16px;">To Kill a Mockingbird</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#13800F;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:16px;">, Chapter 11, spoken by the character Atticus</span></span></span></span></span></p></span></span></span></span></span></span></h3><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Dear Recipe Testers,</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Every dream I could ever hope to have is in the process of coming true. The process and the journey are amazing and in their own way gifts of learning and knowledge in themselves. I have more than enough hobbies and interests to fill 48 hours instead of 24. Often I have to chose between many favorite things because I can't do everything at once. 99% of what I do on a day to day basis is positive: every element whether it is writing, teaching, learning, creating, celebrating or giving is a true joy! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The one "negative" thing in my life has been the library battle. It has been a long hard battle. I never imagined that it would take a year and a half of my life. I still feel guilty that while Jeanette was living I went 2 months without even visiting her because the library battle was so consuming. I remember when Rosemary called and Jeanette thought she had offended me and that I was mad at her. I still feel badly about that.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I will not write the long and complicated battle here. But I will say this: There is NO WAY I would have spent an ounce of time on the library it if the injustice wasn't so deep and wrong that it still makes me blood-boiling mad in the middle of the night. I honestly believed when i discovered the lies, that I would stand up and tell the truth and all would be solved. The library was NOT a victim of the economy. It was fraud. We have videotaped the meetings, we were denied public records requests, and we have documented all of the fraud. And yet the battle goes on.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">This October was insanely busy for me both with work and with my personal life. On Tuesday, the 19 and 21st I was teaching cooking classes at our friends Tracey and Shaun Cassidy's and therefore could not go to some major library meetings. Shaun is going to be on Oprah soon and so the tv crews had to film at their house on Tuesday so the cooking classes had to postponed at the last minute. If anything, you know I need a break and that having a class postponed would be a welcome night of quiet at home. It would have been incredible to have a night off, but I took it as a sign from God that I was supposed to go to the library meetings and again speak against this injustice. I was proofreading a letter from our library justice team to the judge and the letter had me so upset again from all of the details that I was only able to get two hours of sleep because the whole thing keeps me up all night. Then I went to the meeting again and was so angered that I again stayed up most of that night tossing and turning and wondering why it is so truly hard for the truth to get out.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The next morning, exhausted, I really thought about reconsidering. The library battle takes a true toll on my health and emotions. Then I went to Katherine's school for the parent-child luncheon. (For those of you who may be confused, Melissa is homeschooled and Katherine is in public school.) I was walking by one of the classrooms and there was a poster from The Museum of Tolerance that said </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality." Dante.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> It was very powerful, especially if you could see all the symbols on it that made me cry thinking of those battles previously fought. But also, since I was tired and emotionally drained and ready to give up it was just the kick I needed to remember that I can't give up.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Completely exhausted, I went to bed at 6:50 PM last night. and finally slept. I woke up just before 5:00 AM knowing that I need to go and speak again for the library tonight. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">But I want to say one last thing about the positive things that have come from this battle and about the good that has occured. This letter below if from Patti. Patti is painfully shy and very very quiet. When I first met her she was in tears and said that I had to speak for her because she was afraid to speak and couldn't do it. I had many people write to me, young and old with those similar words basically thanking me for saying what they could not say and for representing them. But something extraordinary happened with Patti: after a year into the battle she found the courage to speak. I remember the first time she spoke at city council her voice was shaking so much and she was so quiet that you couldn't even understand her. Yet it was Patti who found the original lease and Patti who dug up major legal documents and Patti who kept researching and fighting. And Patti had more to lose than any of us because Patti works for the County Library system. So while all the employees were given gag orders and told what they could and could not say, Patti went against those orders and her own deep fear of speaking and spoke.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">On the night of of the anniversary of Jeanette's death I was receiving text messages from the library meeting on how things were going. They wrote to me about Patti and I wrote to congratulate her and tell her how proud I was of her and below in blue is the reponse from Patti.<br /></span></span><div edited="true"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:13px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:13px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 19px; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:13px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:13px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:13px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:13px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Times;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:130%;color:#666666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Times New Roman', Times, -webkit-fantasy;font-size:100%;color:#454545;"><dt><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Times, Times, fantasy;color:#000000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 22px; font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Times New Roman', Times, fantasy;font-size:130%;color:#454545;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-size:14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; font-family:'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;font-size:11px;"><h3 class="UIIntentionalStory_Message" ft="{"type":"msg"}" style=" color: rgb(51, 51, 51); margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-weight: normal; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; font-size:13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Times New Roman', Times, fantasy;font-size:130%;color:#454545;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-size:14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Lucida Grande', Times, fantasy;font-size:130%;color:#333333;"><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"></span></span></p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Helvetica, Times, fantasy;"><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">....I am humbled Maili; funny how things evolve...as we prod along,</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">someone speaks here, another does this; anger builds, while frustration</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">mounts; but then a breath of fresh air appears (you, Maili). A sense of</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">unity prevails, power is restored, communication's our perfect tool;</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">someone rises, who rallies another; Even big setbacks, don't diminish</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">our small victories. ~ But some are drowning~needing relief; some just</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">fade away, a few give up. Collectively, we lay low to gather steam; then</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">a random chain of events emerges ~ something happening over there,</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">crosses over here; previous actions are revisited, distant possibilities</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">reappear. Powerful bodies make choices. Faith is restored.</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">We are thankful. We have reached another level...</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">Indeed Maili, as you so perfectly mentioned...we are this wonderful</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">team, this relay team, passing the torch, continually in motion ~ May we</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">always remain vigilant, respectful, passionate, and accomplished. I am</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">genuinely grateful to all of you, for all of you.</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">warm hugs,</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#113F7E;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">Patti</span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Even though we have been silenced in every possible way, I am trying to believe in my heart that somehow in the end justice will be done and the truth will be known. And no matter what the outcome of this jumbled and motley band of warriors, we all found our voices. We all did things that we didn't think we could do. And we all stood up for the truth.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Maili</span></span></span></span></p><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Helvetica;color:#000000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:130%;"></span></p></span></span></span></span></span></span></h3></span></span></span></span></span></dt></span></span></span></div></div></div></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></span></div></span></div></div></span>Maili Halmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08663399528463286005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8180734138218206685.post-6041668974737693042010-10-17T11:38:00.003-07:002010-10-17T12:44:34.421-07:00UNDERSTANDING<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 20px; font-size:13px;"><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:large;">UNDERSTANDING</span></b></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;">March 3, 2009</span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">My husband’s biological mother, Judy Brocke, passed away an hour ago in </span><st1:place st="on"><st1:state st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">Texas</span></st1:state></st1:place><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">. She had brain cancer and we knew she was dying for sometime. We all went to see her in January to say goodbye.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"></span></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">It was a unique relationship because she didn’t raise Jason. I first met her when she came to Jason’s graduation from </span><st1:place st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">West Point</span></st1:place><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">. I had only known him six weeks. Because I love and adore my husband it was so hard for me to imagine how a mother could leave her son. She left him at kindergarten and didn’t come back. It seemed impossible to think of, but I knew he had a better life being raised by his father, Jim, and mother, Marianne (in their family they never use the word step-mother because Marianne became Jason’s mother and Jonathan and Jennifer became his brother and sister. Jonathan and Jennifer are Jason’s favorite gifts from his father’s marriage to Marianne. Those three siblings are incredibly close.)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"></span></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">Judy was always like a very distant relative. We didn’t really see her. We kept in closer touch with her sister, Aunt Diana. There were times, years even when we were in</span><st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">Hawaii</span></st1:place></st1:state><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">, when we didn’t know where Judy was.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"></span></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">Judy had a lot of challenges in her life. But as she neared 60 she truly did try to turn her life around. And seemed to be on the right track with a new job and new life.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"></span></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">She had never met our girls. We spend all of our holidays, birthdays, etc. between my parents in </span><st1:state st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">California</span></st1:state><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"> and Jason’s parents in </span><st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">Indiana</span></st1:place></st1:state><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">. When my girls were in first and second grade we bought Judy a plane ticket to fly out for her birthday to meet the girls for the first time. The second time she my girls (now 10 and 11) was in January in</span><st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">Texas</span></st1:place></st1:state><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">. But she did send the girls cards and so they felt like there was just another person out there that loved them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"></span></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">For me, I think I got angrier with her after I had children. Being a parent is really hard. I felt like if I was making sacrifices in my life for my kids that she should have made for Jason. I felt like I made some of the hardest decisions of putting my kids before my career and gave up a lot of things to devote my time to my children. Of course, the gift I thought I was giving to them, turned out to be a gift to me instead. I can’t believe my baby is 10 and that I only have a few short years with my girls before they are gone. I can’t seem to spend enough time with them. So while I love and appreciate my kids more by the minute, I got angrier with Judy for not making those changes in her own life for Jason and for herself. And then I got frustrated with her being needy of Jason and both of us as she got older. I already feel overwhelmed sometimes in my personal life with all the relatives we have and all the birthdays and things we attend. I barely have time to talk to my own mother as much as I want to with our busy homeschooling lives, so I certainly didn’t have time to talk to Judy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"></span></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">Judy started calling Jason more when she found out she had brain cancer two years ago. But I must point out again, that she made some decisions to turn her life around before she got the cancer. She was already in a much better place when she got the lung cancer that turned to brain cancer. So I feel happy that she overcame the challenges of her past and was making a brighter life for herself.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"></span></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">Near the end Jason has been very dutiful. He has called her everyday. He took over all the responsibility for all of the bills and details of everything at this stage of her life. He’s had some long talks with Aunt Diana. When you are a child whose parent left, you always wonder if the decision was selfless or selfish. Almost every parent who gives an infant up for adoption is generally acting selflessly out of the best interest of the child. They know they can’t take care of the child from the minute they are pregnant and plan for an adoption. They end up giving the child and the new parents an incredible gift. In this situation, Jason was five. So there was the wonder if Judy left him out of kindness or selfishness. Jason had a long talk with Diana last week. Diana said that at the time Judy left Jason she wasn’t able to take care of herself. So it would have been impossible for her to care for a child. When years had passed and Judy was getting to a place where she might possibly be able to care for Jason, she knew Jason had a wonderful life in </span><st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">Indiana</span></st1:place></st1:state><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"> with his parents and it would be selfish of her to try to take him back or share custody.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"></span></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">Later in life, Judy was lonely and missed Jason. So in the end, this sweet and dear boy, can know that his mother did love him to the best of her ability. She loved him with the greatest capacity that she had. She struggled with loving herself for so long that there wasn’t a lot left for Jason. She was very proud of him.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"></span></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">Through this Jason has done the right thing, but he hadn’t cried about what was happening. He’s felt badly for Judy and he has been dutiful. We planned beforehand that the girls and I would go see Judy in January while she was still living. Then when she died we planned that Jason’s father would fly down from</span><st1:state st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">Indiana</span></st1:state><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"> and meet Jason in</span><st1:place st="on"><st1:state st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">Texas</span></st1:state></st1:place><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"> for the memorial there. Then Jason will bring her ashes back to </span><st1:place st="on"><st1:state st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">California</span></st1:state></st1:place><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"> and we will distribute her ashes here because she said she wanted to be near us. When Aunt Diana found out Jim was planning to come with Jason to the memorial she said “You’re father was always a good man.” It was these words about Jason’s father that made Jason cry. It was these words that took him fifteen minutes just to tell me. Because in the end, giving birth doesn’t make someone a parent: A parent is someone who is there and who goes to all the games and helps you with your homework and makes sure you have a cake on your birthday. Parents are there. And Jason’s Dad was always there for him and that’s what made him cry. And his mother Marianne was always there for him. And they have always been there for my girls too. When Marianne’s father, Coach, first met Melissa he said “Now my life is complete, I have a great-granddaughter.” There is no blood relationship between Coach and Melissa, but he was as proud as any great-grandparent could ever be. That’s how much love Jason was given from Marianne’s entire extended family. So Judy gave Jason the better life letting him be surrounded by all of those people who loved him.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"></span></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">I feel like I made my peace with Judy. I gave up my anger because it was pointless. I understand that she did the best that she could do. That she loved Jason as much as she could possibly love someone, but that taking care of him wasn’t where her strength was. I saw Jason do everything he could for her. I admire her sisters for taking care of her round the clock at the end of her life. I admire the grandparents, 87 and 88, who took care of Judy for the last three months. I am glad that she died surrounded by people who loved her. I am glad she gave birth to my husband so that I could marry him. I will be eternally grateful for that. And I’m glad she let him have a better life than she could have given him. I am glad she found peace and happiness at the end of her life.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"></span></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">Peace be with all of you,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"></span></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">Maili<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"></span></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"></span></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0.5in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><i><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span lang="EN" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;</span></span></span></i><span lang="EN"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0.5in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><i><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span lang="EN" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">where there is hatred, let me sow love;</span></span></span></i><span lang="EN"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0.5in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><i><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span lang="EN" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">where there is injury, pardon;</span></span></span></i><span lang="EN"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0.5in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><i><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span lang="EN" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">where there is doubt, faith;</span></span></span></i><span lang="EN"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0.5in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><i><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span lang="EN" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">where there is despair, hope;</span></span></span></i><span lang="EN"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0.5in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><i><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span lang="EN" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">where there is darkness, light;</span></span></span></i><span lang="EN"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0.5in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><i><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span lang="EN" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">and where there is sadness, joy.</span></span></span></i><span lang="EN"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0.5in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><i><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span lang="EN" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">O Divine Master,</span></span></span></i><span lang="EN"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0.5in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><i><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span lang="EN" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;</span></span></span></i><span lang="EN"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0.5in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><i><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span lang="EN" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">to be understood, as to understand;</span></span></span></i><span lang="EN"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0.5in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><i><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span lang="EN" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">to be loved, as to love;</span></span></span></i><span lang="EN"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0.5in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><i><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span lang="EN" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">for it is in giving that we receive,</span></span></span></i><span lang="EN"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0.5in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><i><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span lang="EN" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,</span></span></span></i><span lang="EN"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0.5in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:12pt;"><i><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span lang="EN" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">and it is in </span></span></span></i><i><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span lang="EN" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">dying that we are born to Eternal Life.</span></span></span></i></div></span><div edited="true"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:medium;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:14px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:13px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:13px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 19px; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:13px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:13px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:13px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family:Helvetica;font-size:13px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Times;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:130%;color:#666666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Times New Roman', Times, -webkit-fantasy;font-size:100%;color:#454545;"><dt><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Times, Times, fantasy;color:#000000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 22px; font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Times New Roman', Times, fantasy;font-size:130%;color:#454545;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-size:14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; font-family:'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;font-size:11px;"><h3 class="UIIntentionalStory_Message" ft="{"type":"msg"}" style=" color: rgb(51, 51, 51); margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-weight: normal; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; font-size:13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Times New Roman', Times, fantasy;font-size:130%;color:#454545;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-size:14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Lucida Grande', Times, fantasy;font-size:130%;color:#333333;"><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Helvetica, Times, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'Lucida Grande', Times, fantasy;"></span></span></p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Helvetica, Times, fantasy;"><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Helvetica;color:#000000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Times New Roman';color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:13px;"></span></span></span></span></span></p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Helvetica;color:#000000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Times New Roman';color:#333333;"><h3 class="post-title entry-title" style="margin-top: 0.25em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 18px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.4em; color: rgb(204, 102, 0); "><a href="http://themailifiles.blogspot.com/2009/04/pimiento-cheese-barbecue-lobster.html" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; color: rgb(204, 102, 0); text-decoration: none; display: block; font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Pimiento Cheese, Barbecue, Lobster Raviolis and AMAZING GRACE</span></a></h3><div class="post-header"><div class="post-header-line-1"></div></div><div class="post-body entry-content" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; line-height: 1.6em; "><em><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">March 10, 2009</span></span></em><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Recipe Testers,<br /><br />We ignored our pre-made plan and I went to the funeral with Jason. Logic and practicality work on paper when you are making plans, but then reality happens and intuition and emotion far outweigh logic and practicality. My mom came and watched the girls.<br /><br />Jason spoke very well. I cried for him as he spoke because the words were so hard to say. But after some painful pauses he finished and gave a beautiful tribute. There were 20 people at the funeral, plus 8 church members who help with all the funerals. Without going into long detail, this will kind of sum up the fighting and challenges in the family: There were two memorials. The first at 11:00 and other at 3:00. Jason’s biological grandmother is bi-polar and her moods and emotions contribute to the further understanding of Judy and the problems she faced. We all have to cope with a few curve balls in our lives that affect everyone. The grandmother has a disease and a weakness she cannot help and I’m certain she never intentionally planned to hurt her daughter. Jason’s only purpose in this entire memorial was to make everyone happy. He tried to choose a time to accommodate the variety of schedules including considering the minister’s schedule. But when someone has a mental illness, making everyone happy is pretty much impossible. The minister was wonderful and was such a huge comfort to Jason and said “I’ve known your grandmother a long time.” With those simple words came an enormous volume of understanding. And he said, “If it’s alright with you, I think we’re just going to have to have two services.” The 8 church members went to both of them, including the woman who sang the beautiful hymns at both services who also said to us with complete understanding “We all know your grandmother.” It was such a kindness that these people from the church just smoothed everything over and went forward like having two services was completely normal. Truly, it was so kind and generous of them.<br /><br />There was a woman from the church named Sunshine Spivey. When the minister first called on Sunshine to come and speak, I thought it was her nickname. But Sunshine is her real name. And she came up and spoke and said something true and sweet about Judy. It’s important to say true things. When you say things that are insincere just to say them, they have no meaning. But Sunshine spoke sweetly and honestly. I adored this woman for her kindness and compassion. She fit her name.<br /><br />After the memorial we went into the reception hall and the ladies from the church had made punch, pimiento cheese sandwiches and cookies. The pimento cheese sandwiches are comfort food in the South for those of you who haven’t heard of them. And this was homemade pimiento cheese. Someone had grated the cheese by hand and made the mixture and had handmade all the sandwiches. Someone else bought cookies from the store and someone else made oatmeal cookies. The oatmeal cookies that were homemade didn’t look particularly appealing, but when you tasted them they were wonderful. I’ll take taste over looks any day of the week.<br /><br /><br />I wrote in an earlier e-mail how food is interwoven through all of our lives. It is part of birth and death, weddings, birthdays and celebrations. It is the common part of our daily lives and part of moments we will never forget. So if you think it is odd that I’m writing about food and a funeral at the same time, it is because I see life through “food-colored glasses” instead of “rose-colored glasses.” It is all interlaced for me. And food is comforting in times of sorrow. It is a way of being in communion with the other people who are feeling similarly to you.<br /><br /><br />After the memorial service Jason wanted to eat somewhere local. He didn’t want to go to a chain restaurant. So we went with some of the relatives to look for a place to eat. We drove up to this building that must have formerly been a small bank in the 1960’s. Nothing had been done to change the outside of the bank. The drive-through teller lanes were still there and it looked like the only outside remodeling that had been done was to hang up a sign that said Valentino’s Italian Café. In fact, from the outside appearance I would have thought it was an empty building. The only give-away that it was open was that there were cars outside.<br /><br />So we walked in and it smelled wonderful. Two ladies from the church were there. I could see big pots on the stove. Someone was definitely making something from scratch. It looked like a pizza place, but when we got the menu they had veal and lobster and some terrific choices. So I ordered the Lobster Ravioli. Texas is known for their seafood in Houston and Dallas, specifically the incredible fried oysters, but Jason wasn’t so sure about lobster in Kerrville. I thought I’d take a gamble because I could see the kitchen from where I sat and everything coming up in the window looked great. Jason ordered the veal piccata, I ordered the lobster raviolis, his dad had the baked ziti, the other relatives ordered calzone’s, lasagna, and pizza. The restaurant had great bread and rolls and salad with fresh tomato vinaigrette. The lobster raviolis came out and it was indeed lobster in them and it was real lobster sauce. The lobster sauce had a lot of clams in it, but I love clams and thought they added to the sauce. (I know clams are a cheap substitute instead of putting the lobster meat in the sauce, but truly the clams in it were delicious.) So D- on appearance, but a solid B+ on the food. Again, the cliché “you can’t always judge a book by its cover” rings true again. We thought of Judy and talked about family and life as we ate together and visited in a local restaurant from her town.<br /><br />Then I don’t know if I should write the next part because it might not sound right in writing. It may be better to explain verbally, but I’m going to try my best. You know how laughing and crying are related to each other? For instance when you laugh so hard sometimes you start crying. Or the opposite of if you cry so hard that and are so emotional that almost anything can make you laugh? So this is one of those times. Not really something to laugh at, but it was such an emotional day that it unintentionally ended up being funny. We had Judy’s ashes with us the whole time we were in Texas. It wasn’t uncomfortable. It did seem surreal at times, but at other times it seemed nice that she was with us. In fact, the aunt took Judy’s ashes with her to the yard-sales because she said Judy loved yard sales. So it wasn’t awkward, just not the kind of thing you commonly carry around with you in the car. We had the box of ashes propped up in the trunk so they wouldn’t fall. But then we went to the hotel and took our suitcases out and went to go through all the paperwork in the hotel room. (A sweet thing I will mention at this point was that when we were going through all the paperwork it turned out she had saved every card Jason had ever written to her.) So after all the paperwork we got in the car and forgot temporarily that Judy’s ashes were in the trunk. We were driving to dinner and turned a corner and we heard this big thud. And both of us looked at each other and thought the ashes had just fallen over and spilled all over the trunk. So Jason pulled over and checked and fortunately the ashes were still in the box with the lid on and it was the computer that had fallen over. We were relieved, but after we knew they didn’t actually spill, it was funny in that sad/happy emotional way.<br /><br />We went down to San Antonio and ate dinner on the River Walk. We ate fabulous Texas barbecue and had a loaf of freshly baked bread with honey butter, brisket, ribs, beans, the works. It was just Jason and I. Then we walked along the River Walk after dinner and talked about Judy and the ups and downs of her life and again kept saying how we were glad that she found peace and happiness at the end.<br /><br /><br />So to honor the kind and giving women of the church and to honor Judy, I’m including a recipe for Pimento Cheese. I wasn’t able to get the homemade version of the recipe from the church, but from tasting it, I think it is very similar to this one from my favorite Southern Chef, Frank Stitt. You can eat it on saltine crackers or you can make sandwiches.<br /><br /><br /></span></span></span><strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Miss Verba’s Pimiento Cheese<br /></span></span></strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br />Whenever Verba has the urge, she will make a huge bowl of the best pimiento cheese you have ever tasted. Little drugstore lunch counters throughout the South inevitably include pimiento cheese sandwiches on their menus as an economical option. But the cheese is usually the commercially prepared variety, of indifferent quality. Making your own, as Verba does, with lots of charred roasted peppers, gives the spread a whole new life. It is perfect for a light sandwich or as a down-home dip for crudités and crackers.<br /><br /></span></span><strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">1 pound sharp yellow cheddar<br />1/4 pound cream cheese, softened<br />1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper<br />3 large bell peppers, roasted, peeled, seeded and chopped<br />1/2 cup mayonnaise<br />1 teaspoon sugar<br />Splash of hot sauce, such as Tabasco or Cholula<br />1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional)</span></span></strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /><br />Grate the cheddar cheese in a food processor fitted with the grating disk or grate with a hand grater. Transfer the grated cheese to a bowl, add the cream cheese, pepper, bell peppers, mayonnaise, sugar, hot sauce and cayenne. Blend all together thoroughly. Refrigerate and serve chilled. (This spread will keep for several days in the refrigerator, but it usually disappears long before that.)<br /><br /></span></span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Frank Stitt’s Southern Table</span></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, pg. 32.<br /><br />I’ll end with the hymn that Judy chose for the memorial that truly fits her and her life.<br /><br />And amazing grace, peace and understanding to all of you. Maili<br /><br /></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,That saved a wretch like me....I once was lost but now am found,Was blind, but now, I see.T'was Grace that taught...my heart to fear.And Grace, my fears relieved.How precious did that Grace appear...the hour I first believed.Through many dangers, toils and snares...we have already come.T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...and Grace will lead us home.<br />The Lord has promised good to me...His word my hope secures.He will my shield and portion be...as long as life endures.When we've been here ten thousand years...bright shining as the sun.We've no less days to sing God's praise...then when we've first begun."Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me....I once was lost but now am found,Was blind, but now, I see."</span></b></span></div><div class="post-body entry-content" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; line-height: 1.6em; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><b> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none; text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b></b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:";color:#000CFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">March 16, 2009 Recipe Testing email sent out after the above two emails were sent.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";color:#000CFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Recipe Testers,</span></span></span><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:";color:#000CFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I just had to pass this on. I don’t believe I even mentioned the name of the church where the funeral was in Kerrville. So you can imagine how truly surprised I was when Linda Ray from Houston did a little sleuthing and send me the recipe. It is pasted below. </span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";color:#000CFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";color:#000CFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Also, a number of you asked for my Vodka Sauce recipe after reading my pantry list. I will earnestly try to test that within the next month because everyone always asks for it. I just make such an enormous batch and then freeze it, that it is hard to break down to a home version. I will at least give you this tip now: Vodka added to any tomato based sauce will improve it. Vodka neutralizes the acid in the tomatoes. Just had a 1/4 of a cup of vodka to any tomato based pasta sauce and it will be great. Traditional vodka sauce has both vodka and cream it in. But Vodka alone is a magic ingredient. I’ll get multiple versions to you later. </span></span></span><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:";color:#000CFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Then others of you asked why rosemary was my least favorite herb. In college my landlady, Barbara Keeling (she’s on the recipe testing list and is a fabulous cook!), grew a bunch of herbs in the 4 x 4 yard in front of her brownstone in DC. I lived in the basement apartment: 16 4</span></span></span><sup><span style="font-family:";color:#000CFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">th</span></span></span></sup><span style="font-family:";color:#000CFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> Street NE. We were right behind the Supreme Court. I loved it. I walked by the Capitol, Library of Congress, and Folger Shakespeare Library everyday. Anyway, basil, parsley, thyme, etc. were good in the summer. But the only thing that grew really well all year round was the rosemary. I put it in EVERYTHING: Steak, potatoes, bread, chicken, everything! So I burned out on it and now have an aversion to it in food. Although, I don’t mind smelling it in the yard or in soap or anything like that. I just don’t like it with food, except in the rarest of cases. And one of my biggest restaurant pet peeves is when someone puts a giant sprig of rosemary on the steak or chicken. I think garnishes should be edible and enhance what you are eating. They should not be just for decoration. But that is my own personal opinion.</span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:";color:#000CFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Also, there were enormous responses to the Pimiento Cheese Sandwich e-mail. It struck a chord with so many people including my own mother! I had no idea until I sent it, that Pimiento Cheese Sandwiches were my mom’s favorite sandwiches that my grandmother made when she was little. So I accidentally learned something about my own family. I also didn’t know about the Master’s or the “Southern Pate.” I thought all of you might be interested too, so I asked permission from the people who responded below and they said I could share. I never do this, but in this case I thought I would. I pasted the responses below the recipe.</span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";color:#000CFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";color:#000CFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I’m working on a sausage and apple recipe right now. Quick and easy. I promise to wait at least a week before sending another recipe testing e-mail. When I printed up all the “lost” e-mails that were forwarded back to me, I realized I used to go months without writing. Then with Jeanette I started writing much more frequently. (Please continue to pray for our sweet Jeanette even though she is doing well. She did have a fever and then a staph infection this week, but she should be coming home within a day or two after her most recent chemo treatment is complete.) Temporarily losing my e-mail was the greatest mistake I ever made because I now have them printed all in one giant three ring binder and am so grateful to have them in one place. (I’m also so grateful to the people who save them on their computers if I ever lose this notebook or lose them again!)</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span style="font-family:";color:#000CFF;"></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:";color:#000CFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Truly not trying to overflow your inboxes by writing again so soon! </span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:";color:#000CFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">With Gratitude,</span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:";color:#000CFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Maili</span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:";color:#000CFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">PS My neighbors in Atlanta, David and Lizette Evans are also great cooks. Lizette makes the best Green Bean Bundles (wrapped in bacon and drizzled with brown sugar and butter) I would eat half the pan of them! David is a natural cook and cooks everything well. He’s also great at mixing drinks. We often had dinner parties and Lizette would be the hostess for me in my own house just so I could stay in the kitchen and cook. Lizette would answer the door and welcome everyone and David would make all the drinks. They were the best neighbors. David mentioned in the response below reading </span></span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Gumbo Tales</span></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, so I ordered it from Amazon. Lizette is from New Orleans, so the book is especially meaningful to them.</span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">From:</span></span></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Linda Ray</span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Sent:</span></span></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Monday, March 16, 2009 8:34 AM<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">To:</span></span></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Maili Halme Brocke<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Subject:</span></span></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Surprise!!</span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#000682;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Maili,</span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#000682;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Since you coveted this recipe, I decided to call and get it for you for a treat!</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#000682;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">After all, you share so much with all of us. </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#000682;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I talked with Mr. Young, who is the Banquet Director at the Kerrville First United Methodist Church…very nice man. </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#000682;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">He has a catering business and also touted his chicken salad. </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#000682;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But, he makes all of the food for the events at the church.</span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#000682;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So, Happy Spring………enjoy!</span></span></span><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";color:#000682;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#000682;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Linda A. Ray</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#000682;"></span></span></span></p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="margin-bottom: 8pt; text-align: center; display: inline !important; "></p></span></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">From:</span></span></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Darrell Young </span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Sent:</span></span></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Monday, March 16, 2009 10:18 AM<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">To:</span></span></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Linda Ray<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Subject:</span></span></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> pimento cheese recipe</span></span></span><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 16pt; display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Darrell Young</span><span style="color:#000CFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">’</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">s Pimento Cheese Recipe</span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:19.0pt;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Ingredients</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.5in;mso-text-indent-alt: -.5in;mso-pagination:none;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:11.0pt .5in; mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">2 cup grated sharp cheddar</span></span><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.5in;mso-text-indent-alt: -.5in;mso-pagination:none;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:11.0pt .5in; mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">2 cup grated Monterey Jack</span></span><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.5in;mso-text-indent-alt: -.5in;mso-pagination:none;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:11.0pt .5in; mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">1/2 cup mayonnaise</span></span><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.5in;mso-text-indent-alt: -.5in;mso-pagination:none;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:11.0pt .5in; mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">1/2 salad dressing</span></span><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.5in;mso-text-indent-alt: -.5in;mso-pagination:none;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:11.0pt .5in; mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">2 to 3 tablespoons Smoked red bell pepper diced </span></span><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.5in;mso-text-indent-alt: -.5in;mso-pagination:none;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:11.0pt .5in; mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">1 teaspoon Sautéed onion</span></span><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.5in;mso-text-indent-alt: -.5in;mso-pagination:none;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:11.0pt .5in; mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Cracked black pepper</span></span><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:19.0pt;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Directions:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 16pt; display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Using an electric mixer, Add all of the ingredients and beat until well blended. It can be used as a dip for crudités or as a sandwich filling</span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:16.0pt;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"; font-family:";font-size:19.0pt;color:#000CFF;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> Then pasted below are a few of the responses that I had permission to share:</span></i></span><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:16.0pt;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"; font-family:";font-size:15.0pt;color:#000CFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;font-size:13.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Maili<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:16.0pt;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;font-size:13.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Jason's tribute to his mother was sweet and I'm sure very hard. Carl's situation was so identical. Same thing with Carl's dad he had tons of pictures of us and saved everything we had ever sent him. In fact when Carl and his brother went to close his dad's bank accounts the bank person had a picture of Carl and his brother on this bullentin board of all his clients kids and friends..isn't that funny.. In his dad's mind the boys were this huge part of his life and Carl talked to him maybe twice a year...oh well...cycle of life and its challenges..<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;font-size:13.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">The shooter thing is just out there for such a sleepy small community. We didn't know him or any of the victims but just unnerving for my mom. She said you see this on tv happening other places and you have compassion for the people going through it but you really don't think about it much past that until it happens where you live..my mother dreads all the gossip that is going to come from it all...</span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;font-size:13.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Love the pimento chesse comment...just so you known we consider it souther pate'...ha!</span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;font-size:13.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Love you..Monica</span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-size:13.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">Hi, beautiful! Your story touched and blessed me today – thank you. I’ve been reading </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">Gumbo Tales</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;"> and your story below is similar to the basis of the book; life, death and how food impacts us if we only pay attention to it. I, too believe, that food binds us as families, a community and as humans. I’ve learned this from my Mother, Grandmother and Aunts. It’s a warming and wonderful feeling to know that regardless of what’s happening in our individual lives, whether turmoil or happiness, whether success or challenges, we can all be brought together over pimiento cheese or a po-boy sandwich.</span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-size:13.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">I love you, Maili, and I love your heart. A friend once told me that “it’s important to say true things”. You are a wonderful mother, wife and friend. God’s blessings on you this day, and always.</span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:"Century Gothic";mso-bidi-Century Gothic";font-size:13.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">David Evans</span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Maili,</span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Thanks for the email and update on the funeral. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">I wanted to remind you, if you are not aware, of the great pimiento cheese sandwich tradition at the Masters. For the past 75 years, when they hold the Masters golf tournament in Augusta, GA in April, one of the most popular items on the menu for the patrons is the pimiento cheese sandwich. Oblivious to inflation and the times, you can still get a pimiento cheese sandwich for something around a dollar. It is nothing special...two pieces of white bread with a pimiento cheese spread, but as everyone says.....you can't go to the Masters and not have a pimiento cheese sandwich. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Thought you would enjoy this little tidbit of food history. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Scott</span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:Helvetica;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Maili, </span></span></span></p><span class="Apple-style-span"><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:Helvetica;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">That just plain old WAS funny! I can see you and Jason turning to look at each other with wide eyes right now!!! I am glad nothing was spilled! Thanks for sharing all, and for the pimento cheese sandwiches! I loved them when I was a little girl, course we just bought pimento cheese spread in a container.. do they even sell that anywhere? </span></span></span></p></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:Helvetica;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">love, </span></span></span></p></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:Helvetica;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Am</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">y</span></span></p></span><p></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Maili,</span></span></p><span class="Apple-style-span"><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;font-size:16.0pt;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> </span></o:p></span></p></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Have you ever considered printing out your letters to save as documentation of your life? What a treasure for your girls and their children to have. These should be compiled and treasured. </span></span></p></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">K</span></span></p></span><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Thank you for sharing this. </span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I can see how you grow experience by experience. </span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">You always learn from every experience and you always see both sides and always find a silver lining. Y</span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">ou continue to amaze and to teach me.</span></span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Daily.</span></span></span></span><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I could so picture the box of ashes in the trunk.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And it so feeling like a sitcom on tv. </span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And the humor! </span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">You have memories of circumstances that continue to build a beautiful relationship and strengthening a wonderful marriage.</span></span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">You are building memories to teach your girls what no one else will ever have even imagined.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Maili-- you are living a very special, amazing and fulfilling life. </span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">But I think that you know it. </span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Thanks for sharing it all with me/us so that I/we can live it vicariously. </span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">love you</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></span><span style="font-family:'Bookman Old Style';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><i><span style="font-family:'Bookman Old Style';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6633FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Carol C. Sawyer</span></span></span></span></i></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">All I can say is: I laughed and not because I thought the situation was funny, it was because life is just funny-you said it best, sometimes when you should be crying there comes laughter..... and you know what?? for all the bad stuff I have been through (we shall catch up later) I am proud to say that I can still laugh because sometimes it just makes you feel better and that is okay!</span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">give Jason my best, I hate saying I know how you feel, but I know how he feels...<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">loss is loss... no matter how much someone was in our everyday lives... it's like old friends-you might not see them or talk to them everyday but you always love them in your hearts, think of them from time to time and will miss them fondly when they are gone. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">I will call you tomorrow-hopefully we can chat.</span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">I will definitely try the recipe! </span></span></p><span class="Apple-style-span"><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-size:11.0pt;mso-bidi- font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";font-size:16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> Sue</span></span></p></span><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#000682;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Thanks, Maili, for the update. I hope you’re saving copies of these emails you send out. They are written reflections on people and crusades important to you, i.e. Jeanette, the library, Jason’s Mom, etc. and would make a wonderful journal to look back on and share with the girls someday. </span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#000682;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Blessings and love, </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Arial;color:#000682;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Cheryl</span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">You write so beautifully and clearly, Maili. And your words inspire such vivid scenes in my mind. My mother (being from the South, I guess, although when I was young I didn't know it was a Southern thang) used to make pimiento cheese sandwiches. I have to admit I never did like them much, but she did and lots of her friends did as well. (I never did get a taste for black-eye peas either, but give me her fried chicken any day!) </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I'm so glad you all made it through this trip OK. And I loved the ashes story. It reminded me of the Ben Stiller movie where the porcelain jar of ashes got knocked off the fireplace mantle. If we can't laugh about some of life's ironies and mishaps, then it gets too intense. My sister thought this was a little gross, but the funeral home where my father was cremated offered heart necklaces where they place a tiny portion of ashes. I bought one because at that time I just wanted to know a piece of my dad was near me. Then we had to transport his ashes from Sacramento to San Diego to be buried with my mom and it was tricky dealing with the airlines about that. But we made it. I had to open up the container, go inside, and remove the metal strip that was holding the bag together so that it wouldn't set off the TSA alarm.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The thing is people never used to talk about any of this and I think it's much healthier to talk about it because everyone is going to have to go through it at some point.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So thanks for the stories. Keep 'em coming. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Love you, </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Christie</span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Maili,</span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Don’t worry about not seeing me again. I knew Jason needed you all to himself, and rightly so. This colorful family history does explain some things. How strange it has created closure for the spirit, while at the same time, opening of the eyes. I especially loved your mention of the church ladies. This practice is alive and well in my childhood Presbyterian church today. When my grandmother died in Ft. Payne, AL several years ago, we were served lunch at the church by generous, apron wearing ladies such as these. A bounty of steaming casseroles and mounds of warm rolls followed by fruit salad topped with marshmallows filled the modest table. A decadent selection of homemade pie slices adorned another. The iced sweet tea was homemade too, of course. The ladies were endlessly bustling about fussing with refilling glasses, passing the bread basket or offering a simple story or compliment of my grandmother. This was Southern hospitality at its best. It was simple, humble and deeply sincere. I have been lucky and proud to participate is this ritual several times, never tiring of its warm fellowship. Pimento cheese, tuna salad and egg salad sandwiches will always remind me of the potluck suppers or funeral fare shared in that Presbyterian church. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Keep the stories coming. They are a pleasure to read. You are a gifted writer who speaks from the heart with honesty.</span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; "><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Love,</span></span></span></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Kathryn</span></span></span></p></b></span></span></div></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></h3></span></span></span></span></span></dt></span></span></span></div></div></div></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></span></div></span></div>Maili Halmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08663399528463286005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8180734138218206685.post-69115759380862155682010-10-08T10:23:00.001-07:002010-10-08T11:49:51.280-07:00Anna Brady<div><i><br /></i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>19 years ago today Anna Brady died. I know that I'm known for being a "silver liner" or someone who finds the good in almost every situation. But I can't find it here. There is no "silver lining" when a child dies. There is only heartbreak and sadness that permanently changes us. 19 years later I can still cry as quickly as I did when she first died. I'm still in disbelief that it happened.</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>These were good kids doing good things. They went to McDonalds to plan the Spring Fling dance for their high school class. They weren't drinking, they weren't doing anything wrong. There is no lesson to learn to learn from this. There are only broken hearts.</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>If I've given myself any comfort at all it is knowing that somehow Anna was too good for this world and that God wanted her sooner. She was already an angel on earth and a ray of sunshine to everyone she met. I felt connected to her the same way I felt connected to Lisa Groshart. That we were all the same kind of "sunny souls," As we proudly watched Anna, Lisa and I both felt that Anna was following in our footsteps in high school in so many ways. And in this small world and small town, Anna also happened to be Lisa's teacher' aide. </i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>For those of you that knew her I know you're crying. Because you can't really talk about Anna for any length of time and not start crying. For those of you who didn't know her she was the person that everyone felt was their friend. She made everyone happy just by being her. </i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>After she died her ashes were put on Grass Mountain. Grass Mountain is named for its face of grass. But something special happened that year and you can all attribute it to a phenomenon of nature but I chose to believe it is something else. It rained a lot. Very heavy rain. And in the Spring Grass Mountain was covered in wild flowers like we've never seen before of since. I know Anna's parents have a painting of Grass Mountain in their home.</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>Doug Groshart wrote the song to Anna that begins "The Sun is coming up over Grass Mountain and I'm just thinking what this life here is all about..."</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>Before Anna died she wrote a poem called the sun. And I don't think a day goes by that I don't look at that sun and think of her. After she first died I had nightmares for two years. It was as if I was in the car and was in the accident. I would be jolted awake and sick. But then I would go on a run and look up at the sky and see the sun shining down on me. And it didn't matter where I was: Hawaii, Alabama, Indiana, California...that sun followed me wherever I went. So Anna was always with me. </i> </div><div><br /></div><div><b>THE SUN</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>My home is high in the sky,</b></div><div><b>Where I can see everyone and what they are doing.</b></div><div><b>I have to turn around sometimes</b></div><div><b>When I see people fighting.</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>It is very peaceful where I live,</b></div><div><b>I'm as happy as can be.</b></div><div><b>There are lots of clouds around me </b></div><div><b>And they usually talk to me.</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>Happy, bright and cheerful,</b></div><div><b>Three adjectives I love to hear.</b></div><div><b>Happy 'cause I laugh and smile,</b></div><div><b>Bright 'cause I always glow</b></div><div><b>And cheerful 'cause I'm happy.</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>Although I look after people.</b></div><div><b>In my little throne,</b></div><div><b>I never pick just one of them,</b></div><div><b>I love to look after many more.</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>I am very happy where I am.</b></div><div><b>I hope things never change.</b></div><div><b>I'm happier than ever,</b></div><div><b>And my smile never fades.</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><b> </b></span><b>--Anna Brady</b></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Maili Halmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08663399528463286005noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8180734138218206685.post-53143315413884100632010-10-05T11:05:00.000-07:002010-11-03T07:55:30.111-07:00Beauty<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNDsG2clxRIJlXXA_bsrvRoo2sV6fUbWUmCzZJ1OjricqAUFTiyNgropVZnvJ_BFHqT6M0wQvbHEWMlPnZ6taBRJflyybGJGMtxspzkq8yVVfbna87ZxSmOdjEq04LFj7M3V_VD0bhEOk/s1600/IMG_2506.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNDsG2clxRIJlXXA_bsrvRoo2sV6fUbWUmCzZJ1OjricqAUFTiyNgropVZnvJ_BFHqT6M0wQvbHEWMlPnZ6taBRJflyybGJGMtxspzkq8yVVfbna87ZxSmOdjEq04LFj7M3V_VD0bhEOk/s400/IMG_2506.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524625061000452370" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 20px; font-size:13px;"><div style="text-align: center; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;">Picture my mom took from the plane with </span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;">her iphone as she</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;">landed in Finland. To me </span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;">it looks like a painting. I find</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;">this </span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;">simple </span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;">photo filled with beauty.</span></i></div></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 19px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-family:'Lucida Grande', Times, fantasy;font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;"><div>Recipe Testers,</div></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;">My sister and spent a semester of college in Cambridge, England. It was one of the greatest times in our lives and I'm grateful on a daily basis that my parents enabled us to have that extraordinary experience. One day we were in the Fitzwilliam museum with our classmate Jenn. She walked into one of the rooms and looked at a paintings and starting sobbing. I didn't know what was going on. I was worried someone had hurt her or the painting had triggered a sad memory. I asked her if she was okay and why she was crying and she said: "I'm crying because the painting is so beautiful." Jenn gave me an appreciation of art that I'd never had before. I'd always enjoyed it because my mother is an artist and always exposed us to a lot of art and music, but I'd never really had the time to fully "see" the art, even though it had always been right there in front of me. Somehow Jenn pointing out the beauty that she saw in that painting that made her cry helped me see it too. Jenn crying through museums turned out to be quite common. There was almost something in every museum that made her cry and I purposely went through every museum with her to experience the rapture she felt and enjoy the art with her.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;">I see beauty in so many things. But it is more than just "seeing." Like Jenn crying it is experiencing it with all of your five senses and "feeling" that beauty inside your heart. I've written before how I feel beauty in flowers, clouds, music, photography and paintings and art. And I of course I see beauty in food. The gorgeous palate of colors of food, the way it placed on a plate, the smell of it, the taste of it. Last night I was in a restaurant with some friends and the server walked by with a dish to another table and we all went "what was that incredible smell!" It was like an intoxicating perfume that you couldn't get enough of. And I realized what incredible sensual pleasure food gives to me. Looking at fresh produce is vibrant and gorgeous, hearing the chopping sound and sizzling sound of preparing food, smelling food cook, and then seeing how beautiful it on the table and finally tasting it! Top that off by experiencing all of those things with good friends and that is about as good as it gets for me!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;">I've met people before that don't like to cook. But then they've come to cook with me for a day and say "you make cooking fun" and suddenly they are having a good time. They can experience some of the feelings I have about the food by being with me, just like I could experience the paintings even more being with Jenn. Science has never never been one of my favorite subjects but Melissa Madeline's molecular science teacher is as fascinated and enthralled by science as I am about cooking. Just listening to him talk about how science IS IN everything and how everything is composed of these molecules (and they build models of these molecules) all of a sudden science seem like a bundle of fun.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;">Here is other news that I'm sharing with all of you instead of just the Fiddle team. When you "experience" food and enjoy and taste it, see it and care about it, you rarely overeat. You enjoy it, you share it with friends, you eat delicious fruit and wonderful food and you feel satisfied and full-filled. The greatest thing ever is that we get to eat at least three times a day (or if you're me, then 5 times a day) and you get to have this same joy over and over again. It is never-ending! I get to enjoy my cup of tea every single morning with such complete satisfaction that I literally think every single day after the first sip "I just love tea!" I remember feeling when I was younger that I had to eat all of the delicious food in one day before I realized there was the next day and the next day and the next day. Plenty of time and opportunities to eat and enjoy all the food that is out there. And just when you might start being sick of food a new season comes upon us with the fruit and vegetables you can only get in that season. (I'm waiting for pomegranates and cranberries at the moment!)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;">And finally I have to tell you about the beauty that is inside you. How beautiful you are and how your beauty radiates out to so many people. I cry when babies are born. I cry at the miracle of birth and this living breathing human being. All of these people with beauty that emanates out of them. And it is really through people that I see God. Of course I see God through Nature and all these molecules and the miracle of everything that is created. But I also see God the most through the kindness and compassion of people and the love in their eyes when caring about another living being. And I know that people can become guarded and have hardened their hearts to protect themselves and so the beauty inside is sometimes trapped within them trying to leak out. There has been a lot of talk this week about bullies and people being hurt and what can be done to prevent that from happening. If we can make the people around us feel safe and loved then beauty and kindness will spread. So many people are just overflowing with beauty. I see it everyday and "feel" it everyday.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;">This last week I got to hear a little girl sing "Amazing Grace" and like Jenn in the museum tears uncontrollably ran down my face. I could look up at the beautiful sky and the palm trees and see the beauty all around me. I'm far from perfect and I have a hundred and one faults. But thanks to Grace, despite my imperfections, I can focus instead on seeing and feeling beauty and sharing it with others.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;">Grace and Peace to all of you and your beautiful hearts!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;">Maili</span></span></div></span>Maili Halmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08663399528463286005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8180734138218206685.post-80000226781321603892010-08-19T07:24:00.000-07:002010-11-29T09:33:26.373-08:00"Love is Stronger Than Death"<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 20px; font-size:medium;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">"Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, love is stronger than death."</span></b></span></i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>Today is Jeanette's birthday. She would have been 15. I remember it felt like such a victory when she made it to her 14th birthday. We didn't know she would be gone a few months laster. Last Thursday was Joele's birthday. She would have been 5. </i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>Then on Saturday, August 3rd, my Great-Aunt Joanne Darling Hattan, passed away. How grateful we are that we drove down to see her before she died to have on last laugh and great conversation about food. She had this Plumeria tree that was her passion. She moved it from house to house. When she died the tree was in full bloom. Her grandson, Daschle, made sure to get Grandma's flowers from her tree to bring with him. We all miss her.</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>Some of these other pictures I keep on the desktop of my computer. Ashley's mom and dad holding hands just before her father passed away. Ninette in bed with her mother. Ninette's mom and aunt who were as close as my sister and I are. I hope my sister and I will grow old together like this! Vincent playing guitar with his father for the last time. Debi Stull's sweet dad. He was always there with a smile to help. I remember him saying "I'm working on my 'Honey-Do' list." Kind Marvin Goodman who died too soon. </i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>There are so many people we love and miss. Far more than fit this page. I tried to include the people who died last year. I wish I had a picture of Jim Sharp but I don't. He is also in our hearts. And whenever I think of Jeanette I think of Anna Brady too. Her picture is always in my mind.</i></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipYyHeERlo-zSSK3V_UtIeaJ45NWWPC7N_lHY28dh7Xunbo75ja8acEZBIP4C4V9u-iAhAbEmSEV0610sWH4d0tbrGl65wx0VXHZUVbyaNQNxadg8zEPWUESP6-4qNlkCbm4hGGKV4zpQ/s1600/love+1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipYyHeERlo-zSSK3V_UtIeaJ45NWWPC7N_lHY28dh7Xunbo75ja8acEZBIP4C4V9u-iAhAbEmSEV0610sWH4d0tbrGl65wx0VXHZUVbyaNQNxadg8zEPWUESP6-4qNlkCbm4hGGKV4zpQ/s400/love+1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5507131887465813330" /></a><div style="text-align: center;">Jeanette Orrantia</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJCvsMVObM5BDWmvrD6jT38tXuXP4IKGQJo26aUJTjYmql1nYFAILNvoIZGWq88TYMW6K9poW8C1XyEbgypykCK8yN012xWTwf_AztDwPQh6I-abPA-j8R5g7ypUVbxndImkzwlSMPGWw/s1600/love+2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 318px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJCvsMVObM5BDWmvrD6jT38tXuXP4IKGQJo26aUJTjYmql1nYFAILNvoIZGWq88TYMW6K9poW8C1XyEbgypykCK8yN012xWTwf_AztDwPQh6I-abPA-j8R5g7ypUVbxndImkzwlSMPGWw/s400/love+2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5507131725721252770" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Joelle Ruppert</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXBDeVrWfH9CQnQqRFZcGFj3nwo5LsiHd98DT-Ws8S3VyvDH7w2yt3-ZA7uhyaR9nrtGkIbx0NUlMq64urnsemVcHtErr3GrBWZ6MraQnrDs9d8rcKHS1E0OKA356WN0fiW-Ue1apsDx8/s1600/love+3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 321px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXBDeVrWfH9CQnQqRFZcGFj3nwo5LsiHd98DT-Ws8S3VyvDH7w2yt3-ZA7uhyaR9nrtGkIbx0NUlMq64urnsemVcHtErr3GrBWZ6MraQnrDs9d8rcKHS1E0OKA356WN0fiW-Ue1apsDx8/s400/love+3.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5507131722434969858" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><i>My Great Aunts: Joanne and Jeanne Darling </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>when they were little girls</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqZ3xHY1MSKqMEjxFrRThhx_DmjiWL8sWOD4_6umP9WQ-kUpibssShoaaVv1esOUPFTn-67ld3-TlZJ06oSi8O_6G8PLKFBtQMj5N3ky01jh2m8HHDimFsh6Kk6vJhyTflg3ndMWcZygo/s1600/love+4.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 268px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqZ3xHY1MSKqMEjxFrRThhx_DmjiWL8sWOD4_6umP9WQ-kUpibssShoaaVv1esOUPFTn-67ld3-TlZJ06oSi8O_6G8PLKFBtQMj5N3ky01jh2m8HHDimFsh6Kk6vJhyTflg3ndMWcZygo/s400/love+4.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5507131711362282338" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Joanne Darling 1948 - 15 years old</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4fs8MHiav8GbzXYFi7Kx3y0JwKbRWYRl6ilDyCWkfVVMxAuuSypyCzN2HG4hAAi_25_UJBgsnoxj9f6YD3jzUZ6a28Oz919i_f80hXJK7nEvhcgFTSf5HQ3qLXkhPHtEBVXsiwde-bpg/s1600/love+5.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4fs8MHiav8GbzXYFi7Kx3y0JwKbRWYRl6ilDyCWkfVVMxAuuSypyCzN2HG4hAAi_25_UJBgsnoxj9f6YD3jzUZ6a28Oz919i_f80hXJK7nEvhcgFTSf5HQ3qLXkhPHtEBVXsiwde-bpg/s400/love+5.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5507131706817685954" /></a><div style="text-align: center;">Karen, Joanne And Daschle</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1n4QWFoWUzlnJJjI04ctuSbNJZuoFBl5x9eFX-DtiPkWlyxveF_tq6toEatXkhAUguTl5BQ7OOXCor2EoJHQU76Z9YyFuSJUn3ks6Ikjc5gfR9AN2OK8ukzVuv688SxwVwl2kV13VXJ8/s1600/love+6.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1n4QWFoWUzlnJJjI04ctuSbNJZuoFBl5x9eFX-DtiPkWlyxveF_tq6toEatXkhAUguTl5BQ7OOXCor2EoJHQU76Z9YyFuSJUn3ks6Ikjc5gfR9AN2OK8ukzVuv688SxwVwl2kV13VXJ8/s400/love+6.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5507131696343156114" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Ashley's Mom and Dad holding hands before </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>her father passed away </i></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4Yj2wm6Ghr81ECnJ5c860bs0PJH2fE9ewMPIqluy7fOgnfq_vl1_FuyId4TNeFPsjpMmlu5-BrdRF2dycqIrc8PfpXncqTT-9LkG9p0dzuPrEAAKq0oWSTTV3oDz6utwyYl1VuYI9hPc/s1600/love+7.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4Yj2wm6Ghr81ECnJ5c860bs0PJH2fE9ewMPIqluy7fOgnfq_vl1_FuyId4TNeFPsjpMmlu5-BrdRF2dycqIrc8PfpXncqTT-9LkG9p0dzuPrEAAKq0oWSTTV3oDz6utwyYl1VuYI9hPc/s400/love+7.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5507131314858026482" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Ninette in the hospital bed with her mother Doris</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTyfyjjcCHFKNFcQq0WK1hx-6plH-maktsHUVzwUK90AXKz61LKxs7QVE0IT2hHDC-bZTsuB1JaFM3mElG_9t0dHZxu3boYNOLd5FlJQV3OyfafR899HQjna6g6afQnJ-4S4zTAaCLdiY/s1600/love+8.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 268px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTyfyjjcCHFKNFcQq0WK1hx-6plH-maktsHUVzwUK90AXKz61LKxs7QVE0IT2hHDC-bZTsuB1JaFM3mElG_9t0dHZxu3boYNOLd5FlJQV3OyfafR899HQjna6g6afQnJ-4S4zTAaCLdiY/s400/love+8.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5507131308818987890" /></a><div style="text-align: center;">Ninette's Mom and Aunt. Such close sisters!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4OMvMaGzrkFpAvKnunn_z1YQDtiAfFMOKl0AfHiJ01rm4ntKdPeY-GnsxVtZXU2zmAJ5Seew2rgiZhxrxtxFdqrPse8qUstBaFpmgW8NCQG3TkSor3ZiY7qR0fFDAmxQ2L5TacoWRWX0/s1600/love+9.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 272px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4OMvMaGzrkFpAvKnunn_z1YQDtiAfFMOKl0AfHiJ01rm4ntKdPeY-GnsxVtZXU2zmAJ5Seew2rgiZhxrxtxFdqrPse8qUstBaFpmgW8NCQG3TkSor3ZiY7qR0fFDAmxQ2L5TacoWRWX0/s400/love+9.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5507131301455340866" /></a><div style="text-align: center;">Marvin Goodman</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4L3Gev_Zxnhsy7AMZ3wJrNPtIt-aN3DNCONioGY3V3P8GlO1GDkuuyrX0Z1I-Vj-jqTHWopOcixBwkhoygBl-7rneEulbggqxLYIlG87Y3UIFN_aU0-00omJApa5xWTkdawiuRfsquC0/s1600/love+10.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4L3Gev_Zxnhsy7AMZ3wJrNPtIt-aN3DNCONioGY3V3P8GlO1GDkuuyrX0Z1I-Vj-jqTHWopOcixBwkhoygBl-7rneEulbggqxLYIlG87Y3UIFN_aU0-00omJApa5xWTkdawiuRfsquC0/s400/love+10.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5507131293412446834" /></a><div style="text-align: center;">Debi's Mom and Dad</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqoEz5t-wu1cb-4J9svY3lt4cd8rPAeg-nu127MPvZRXFhfMfe3hvVhnDpO6RXtwLOEtjCoRFcWWONqoc-3G5KOP3MfmbouVl81nOn0OlsEyZkXskOjjaL9mu9zgKHtX9oskGC13QxzbE/s1600/love+11.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqoEz5t-wu1cb-4J9svY3lt4cd8rPAeg-nu127MPvZRXFhfMfe3hvVhnDpO6RXtwLOEtjCoRFcWWONqoc-3G5KOP3MfmbouVl81nOn0OlsEyZkXskOjjaL9mu9zgKHtX9oskGC13QxzbE/s400/love+11.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5507131288508585986" /></a><div style="text-align: center;">Vincent's last jam session with his dad</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Helvetica;color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px; font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span>Maili Halmehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08663399528463286005noreply@blogger.com2